[Hanger in a Closet] + [Stylinson]

[Chapter i] + [Loser of the Year]

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Always feeling like the outcast – Jake Miller

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“ALRIGHT fellas, one more time,” Paul Roberts, our choreographer calls out.

It’s the fourth recording session we were having and it’s full blown crap. We’re singing songs off the Take Me Home album, something about not killing our vocals because we won’t be singing for a long time since we’re on holiday… FINAAAALLY!! I can go out partying, go shopping, spend time with my friends… and hang out with my favorite lovely, older sister, Gemma. She’s fantastic to hang around with especially when she comes on tour with me (when she’s not at uni studying her ass off) she just makes the tour more tolerable from being around him all the time.

“I feel like my lungs are going to collapse in my throat,” I say out loud, after singing Little Things bridge for the third time. I probably should stop smoking two cigarettes at a time or else I’ll be panting like a donkey for walking FIVE STEPS! Louis, who was standing near me in the studio, snorts and mutters “stop drinking a lot” under his breath. Before I can reply Liam begins signing the most annoying, overrated song we’re ever done…

“You’re insecure, don’t know what for,” Liam sings, clearing my throat for my part coming up.

“Louder Harry, I can barely hear you,” Paul shouts across the room. “Niall run around, taking the crowd with you.” I sing louder for the chorus as Niall dashes across the studio doing his theatrics, Liam and Louis doing some weird dance move off Glee or whatever.

“Where’s Zayn?” I ask, once Paul gives us a break.

“If you were more of a friend than a stranger to us then you would know,” Louis sneers, looking directly at me. Those piercing blue eyes. The eyes that I fell in love with, the eyes that make it so difficult to live freely as an open, proud gay singer.

“Are you going to tell me or not?” I ask, ignoring the heart within me doing cartwheels.

“Why are you acting like such a clown?”

“I hate clowns Louis and you know that!” I frown, shuddering at the thought of clowns coming near me with their nonsensical jokes and ugly faces. I don’t get why people find them funny… let alone bearable near them.

“Why are you acting like a douchebag?” Liam asks.

“I’m not. I’m the same Harry you all know, nothing’s change,” I lie through my teeth. People think I don’t lie because of my curls and cheeky smile but lucky for me, I became a pathological liar easily.

“You’re never around. You’re always with Nick and Kingston all the time,” Louis says, his arms folded in front of his chest tightly.

“And Ed,” Zayn adds.

“If you’re so jealous why don’t you ever say anything?” I question.