I Wonder U.

My Purple Heart Continues To Bleed..

(taken from my tumblr blog)

There's something that's been bothering me within the last couple of days. A slow dread for something that I know is coming, something I never wanted to deal with. Something I still have no absolute closure on whatsoever because it never should of happened.

I'm extremely aware..that the day after tomorrow will be the one year anniversary since we lost a man called Prince Rogers Nelson.

Now I know a lot of y'all only know him as a short black man who dressed like a woman and yet..still got all the women with his overly provocative songs and honest sexuality, aha.

But he was so much more than that. My god.
He was a musical genius, a multi-instrumentalist, a poetic lyricist, a pioneer of music, a producer of sound, an unbelievably underrated guitarist, a discography span of over thirty albums.

A man who was so far ahead of his time....he was much too fast.
That's who he was to the world, loved by so many.

Now as I write this, I have tears in my eyes. Haha.
Because to me...he was a man who saved my god damn life.
When I was at my absolute worst, he embraced me with song.
When I was so utterly heart broken, he showed me what love still is and taught me how to learn to love again.

So many nights, I cried for the loss of love. So many nights I cried over his absence. So many nights I was inspired by his mere existence that I overflowed with the most beautifully loving poetry that I have ever written in my life.

He showed me what I was capable of as an artist and as a human being. The impact he has on me is forever eternal and by the grace of god, I have never mourned this hard for someone.

He made me feel like I wasn't alone. I wish he could've felt that same comfort as he passed away ever so fragile..

Last December was when I stopped counting anniversaries...it got too painful, I didn't like crying my heart out every month...I've been trying to avoid and crawl my way out of this one but I can't.

So bare with me...on the 21st of April.
I love that man a lot...and he is so unbearably missed.
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I haven't forgotten this book. Not once, not ever. Referring to the reasons listed above, that is why I became silent during the ascent into the new year.

I still miss him everyday.

I just have no more poetic words to give him. In my heart, he already has them.
I think this will be the last part to this book. The closing chapter to my grief, I hope.

To all the purple lovelies who have given love to this book or any of my fanfictions.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

We were in this journey together, forever & always.

Sincerely Yours,
Liliana.