Secrets Can Kill

Chapter Eleven

Jay's cold touch against the soft skin on my neck sent shivers down my spine. I shuddered and opened my eyes to find Jay stroking down my cheek to my neck. I smiled, a bit confused but he simply smiled back at me and I laced my fingers with his.

"Morning Jay." I said scratchily. My throat felt dry because I just woke up. I adjusted myself slightly and moved into his body. Even though we had only been together a few weeks, I felt closer to him than I had to anyone in a very long time.

"Good morning. I was just seeing if you felt too cold or too hot. I wasn't sure how the room felt to you. Did you sleep okay?" He asked. It was kind of cute how concerned he was about how I was feeling. He seemed really nervous about me being here. I put my arms over his waist and looked into his deep grey eyes.

"I'm fine. Not hot or cold and I slept really well actually." I grinned and he did too.

"Good. I'm really glad you're here Kayc'." He said.

"I am too. Thanks for taking me in. I know for a fact that my life has always been hard but I can't even imagine trying to handle me plus the complicated life you have to go through." I said. He shrugged.

"I'm used to my life by now. I'm just glad that I can be here for you. I hope you know, that I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe and that I will always be here for you if you ever want to talk." He said. I thought for a minute. I was still kind of shocked by everything Jay, Alix and Seth were but I wasn't scared of them. Something in me knew that I could trust them. I could see that Jay actually loved me, even from the little amount of time we had been together. I loved him too, equally as much. But I think that if we want a chance at making our relationship work, I needed to find out more about him. I felt like he knew everything there was to know about me, of course that wasn't true, but he was so mysterious and I was eager to learn everything I could about him.

"Thank you. But I am going to take you up on your talking offer." I said. He sighed and shook his head with a slight smile dancing across his perfect lips. I saw his small dimples appear in the sides of his cheeks as he chewed his lip nervous to begin talking.

"I saw that one coming." He remarked sarcastically.

"I'm sorry Jay. I just," I paused searching for the right way to speak my thoughts. "I feel like I just met you and we are already dating and living together and it's all moving fast and I feel like I know nothing about you." I said. He widened his eyes and looked back into mine after a minute. He nodded, seeming to understand my point.

"You're right. We did just meet months ago and I know we are moving fast and I'm sorry." He said looking down. "It's just, Kayce I knew I loved you the first time I saw you. When I walked into Calculus on that day, it was like the only person I saw was you. I've been around a while so I know what being in love feels like. I've been in love more times than I can count. But none of those times have ever made me feel the way you make me feel. None of them were curious about me like you are. When I saw you it was like, I felt alive again. I felt like I had found the reason I came back. I know that what I am scares you. I know that all of this might not make any sense to you and I am so sorry if you are scared by me. If you ever feel like leaving and going back to finish school with your friends I won't stop you. I will still cover for you being your guardian but I won't stop you. I will be upset, because I want to stay with you, but I just want you to be happy. And the most important thing to me is that you are safe. So as long as those two things happen, with me, or without me, I will support what you want to do." He finished. I was shocked. I just laid speechless at his words. He was the sweetest guy I had ever met. Alive or not, this felt like a fairytale. I couldn't believe someone actually said that, to me. No one had cared about me that much for as long as I could remember. I was beaming as I hugged him tightly.

"Jay, I," I hesitated, trying to find words to describe how I was feeling, but I couldn't. "I don't even know what to say but thank you. I knew the first day we met that you were different. I mean I thought you were incredibly cute too but I could just tell. But the fact that you love me that much it's just," I paused again, gathering myself to speak again. "No one has ever cared like that about me. I'm not afraid of you. I love you Jay. Whether you're alive, or not. I love you for you and nothing will change that. I'm happy being anywhere in this world, or any other world that I don't know about, as long as I can be with you. I know that all of this is still new to me and yeah it will take a while to get used to but I can't wait to take the time to get to know you." I said.

"And I promise you, someday you will. But we have to take it day by day okay?" He said. I suppose I could agree to that. I nodded.

"So I get to find out something new about you every day?" I asked. He smiled.

"I have an idea. How about we get ready and I will take you somewhere so we can talk for a few hours." He said. "I'm just as eager to get to know you as you are to me."

"I'm really not that interesting Jay. But that sounds nice. Where are we going?" I asked sitting up.

"There's this nice clearing in the woods about a mile away. I like to go there sometimes. But there is snow outside so dress warm ok?" He said. I nodded. "Do you want to take a shower?" He asked. I nodded again.

"Yeah I will." I said getting up. Jay walked into the bathroom that was connected to our room. I grabbed some black jeans and a grey sweater to wear today and went into the bathroom.

"So you can just leave your shower stuff in here with mine and whatever else you might need." He said as I set my stuff down on the sink.

"Alright thanks. I'll be done in like 30 minutes, then we can go." I said. He smiled and hugged me. I wrapped my arms up around his neck and he smirked at me.

"Okay Kayc' let me know if you need any help showering." He said slightly grabbing my hips. That was the last thing I expected him to say so I felt my cheeks heat up instantly. I chuckled and inched closer to his face.

"I'll call if I need you Jay." I said. He smiled bigger and revealed the slight indent of his dimples. I poked at his cheek and cupped the sides of his face as I pulled him close to me and passionately kissed him. He smirked and kissed me harder. I felt him unwillingly pull away and then he left the room and I shut the door behind him. I turned the faucet and felt the hot water bounce off my head, soaking me from head to toe.

I finished showering and got out, wrapping a towel around my body. I blow dried my hair so I wouldn't freeze going into the cold and then put it in a side braid. I got dressed and put on a grey beanie to match my sweater. I walked back into our room and found Jay fully dressed watching TV on the bed.

"You look beautiful." He said smiling. I didn't expect him to compliment me so of course him saying that made me blush.

"Thanks. You ready to go?" I asked as he got up and turned off the TV.

"Yes. Are you gonna be warm enough in that? Do you want a jacket or something?" He asked.

"I will grab one." I said. I went to my closet and grabbed a jacket. We went downstairs and Alix and Seth were nowhere to be seen. I assumed they were still sleeping. I put on my boots and we left. It was chilly outside and I shivered slightly. Jay took my hand and laced our fingers together. I leaned into his body as we walked through the fluffy snow.