I Do, Don't I?

Chapter One

"Oh, thank God you're awake," a blond woman breathed in relief. She closed the glossy magazine she was reading that rested on her lap. She stood from her seat at the side of my bed and left the shiny reading material where she has been sitting. She grabs her expensive-looking purse from the beige leather couch by the window and says, "Now, I'm going to the salon and attend my three o'clock appointment. She went to the side of my bed and kissed my forehead. "Jude will be here any minute. Don't push him away, please?" she begged gently before leaving the room.

I looked around the room and realized that I was in a hospital. I sat up, which made my head throb badly as a princely-looking man came sweeping in the room in his business suit.

"Whoa, don't push yourself. You still can't do that. It'll cause you a bad headache," he said.

"Who--who are you?" I croaked after he had lied me back down on the white mattress.

He flinched, looking quite stunned.

"I'm--I'm sorry," I stammered. "Are you someone I should know?"

He was still speechless which began to alarm me.

"Please say something," I said desperately. "I'm scared."

"Oh," he winced in recovery. "I'm sorry, I just--" he hesitated then looked at me with regard. "You don't remember anything?"

I looked around then back to his blue eyes. I shook my head, near tears.

"Oh," he raised his head with apprehension. "You mean, you don't remember anything? Anything at all?" he reassured.

I looked away, making a swift recall but there was none. I looked back at him and shook my head.

"Okay," he took a step closer and bent down to rest his elbows on the white bed. "You see," he said taking my hand and I noticed a gold band on my ring finger. "We're a couple."

I looked at his eyes with a thought. "Are we married?"

He hesitated then, answered, "Yes. We've been married for a year and a half now."

"Do we have kids?"

I think I've always wanted kids. I can imagine beautiful little monsters that looked as charming as he is screaming around the house, driving me crazy.

"Uh," his eyes flickered away then, back again. "No."

"Why?"

He seemed to think for a moment. "Because you're not ready."

"Oh," I nodded.

He frowned then, straightened up. "You really don't remember anything? Like, nothing?"

I shook my head. "Are you Jude?"

"So, you remember me?" he said hopefully.

"No, the blonde lady said--"

"Oh, that's your mother," he cut in. He shoved both of his hands in his pockets. "Do you know your name?"

I stared down at the floor then, back at him. "No."

"Okay," he walked around the room and seemed as though he's thinking hard. He turned to me with an urgent look. "I'll be right back," he said before dashing out.

Okay. So, I'm married. He looks pretty young so I guess I'm not an old woman. Thank God. I don't have any kids and I have no name--yet.

He came back inside the room with a white-haired veteran doctor.

"So, what seems to be the problem?" the old man frowned at me then, to my husband.

"She doesn't remember a thing," he motioned to me then shoved his hand back to his pocket.

The old man brought his rimless glasses down to his nose and studied me. "Are you sure, dear?"

I nodded.

"What about your name?"

I shook my head.

"How about the accident?"

I slightly furrowed my brows in confusion. "Accident?"

He scanned his clipboard then, turned to my husband. "Let's have a little talk outside, shall we?"

After a long moment, Jude came back in with the doctor. He looked at me for a bit longer, hesitating on something then, finally spoke with gentleness.

"Are you familiar with anyone here?" the doctor's look was so serious, I felt terrified.

I shook my head, I could imagine the trepidation reflecting through my eyes.

Speaking of eyes, I don't even remember how I look like.

He scribbled something on his clipboard with a troublesome frown then, raised his head to me.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I don't think I should tell you this. I don't think you'll take it well," he said with uncertainty.

"No," I swallowed. "It's alright. I'll take it well."

Jude snickered as he shook his head back and forth. "Even when you have a serious case of dissociative amnesia, you haven't changed one bit," he said.

The doctor looked at him, deadpan. "You're such a helpful husband."

"What does that supposed to mean?" I asked the doctor, ignoring his remark.

"It means that the accident completely erased your short-term and long-term memories," he stated gently. "Your husband here," he placed a hand over Jude's shoulder. "Should be able to help you with it."

"Will I go back to normal?" I asked doubtfully.

He removed his hand from my husband's shoulder to mine. "It's either you remember or you create a new identity." He smiled warmly that made me feel better. "If you'll excuse me," he said tentatively, raising his left arm to peer at his watch. "I have another patient to attend to."

"Thank you, doctor," Jude said.

After he has left and closed the door gently, my husband took three steps to my side and bent down to rest his elbows on the side of my bed. He grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it. "Don't worry Rachel, you'll be able to go back to our home in a few days." He kissed my hand once more. "I've missed you so much."

I couldn't help but smile. I can't believe how lucky I am to be married to a man I don't even remember. I wish I'd remember all of our moments together. I couldn't help but feel sorry that we can't enjoy each other like we probably used to.