14: I really need you right now

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Y/n POV

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I was sitting in seventh hour, in front of Noah, counting down the minutes till I can finally go home. Noah was whispering things to me, like 'nobody likes you, so why even try?' Or 'just go ahead and leave the world, no one will notice'.

These things they were saying weren't making me feel any better from earlier. By now, I was holding back tears that I so badly wanted to let go. My thoughts were trying to stay positive, but they kept getting darker and darker, telling me I should do it. Just do it, get it over with.

It won't affect anyone, so why worry? No one will really care. It will be a blessing that you're finally gone. They're just pretending to be your friends. Just go ahead and die.

There's that gun dad keeps in his room for safety. There's that rope in the basement, I can choke myself with. I can just run away and drown myself in the park. Maybe I can just stab myself until I bleed to death . . .

Stop thinking like this! I can't do that. Maybe I can talk to Mark. What am I saying? He wouldn't care. He'd probably throw a party for my death.

The bell finally rang, and everyone grabbed their stuff and darted out of the room. I soon found Mark and hopped into his car.

"You ok? You look upset," Mark asked, starting his car.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I nod, staring at the window.

"You sure? You know you can-"

"I said I'm fine."

We soon got home, and I wasn't surprised to hear Austin crying and Lucy yelling. This has happened everyday.

I hurried and grabbed Austin, and set him on the stairs. He ran up to his room and slammed the door. Lucy started hitting me until Mark pulled her off. She then yelled at him and started hitting him. It went back and forth like this, until she got tired and walked to her room.

Dad still didn't know.

I tried to tell him, but he didn't believe me. I could show him what she's done, but he'd still think I was lying, and tell me to stop hurting myself to get rid of her. Its fucking stupid. He doesn't even believe his own daughter! Austin hasn't said anything. Every time he tried to, Lucy would give him a certain look, which would shut him up immediately.

Mark and I went up to check on Austin, and he was crying and shaking as usual. This wasn't the way a child should live. This wasn't the way anyone should live.

After he calmed down and fell asleep, Mark and I went to our own separate rooms and acted like nothing happened.

I was on Netflix, watching (show/movie), when Mark knocked in a certain pattern as he always does, and walked in.

"Hey, I have to go to marching band. I'll be back around eight or nine."

"Alright, be careful."

"I will."

He walked out and away, towards the front door. After hearing his car start and drive away, I zoned out, the dark thoughts taking over. 

You're home alone now. Just go do it. Its not like anyone will care. Get it over with. You can do it.

The thoughts kept coming. By this point, there were tears streaming down my face slowly. I didn't know what to do. Should I? Would people really miss me? Would they even notice I'm gone?

I slowly got off my bed, and walked out of the room and into the bathroom, still locking the door, even though nobody was here.

I pull the drawer open, and carefully look for the small blade. Once I found it, I grab the bottle of Ibuprofen. I hesitated at first, but started moving the blade across my already bruised and scarred arm.

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