I will be writing over 20 jokes in this chapter! Send me a few jokes and I will select the jokes which haven't been heard and best ones in a chapter. The jokes will obviously be dedicated to you. Good Luck!
I've also added some ♥ to jokes I like a lot.
1. A student went swimming and almost drowned. He sweared that he would never get into water until he learnt how to swim.
2. A miser wrote his will. In his will, the heir was himself!
3. Consulting a doctor, a man says, I'm unable to sit down, lie down or even stand up! The doctor replied, then the only thing left is to hang yourself!
4. I poured root beer in a square glass, now I have plain beer.
5. What do you call a dog which can do magic tricks?
Ans. A labracadabrador!
6. Why did the old man fall into the well?
Ans. It was because he couldn't see that well.
7. Wife: Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread, of they have eggs, buy a dozen.
Husband 《Programmer》: Okay.
5 minutes later
Husband returns with 12 loaves of bread.
8. Koalas aren't actual bears. This is because they do not meet the koalafications!
9. Me: I bet you that I'll get 60/80
Enemy: Ha! You got 59/80!
Me: -_-
Enemy: FAILURE!
Me: Nice way to describe your life :)
10. Teacher: Where is your math homework!!
Me: It suicided.
Teacher: HOW!?
Me: It had too many problems. (♥)
11. Teacher: Even a 7 year old could draw this diagram better than you!
This is a common thing said to students by teachers. Not really a joke just had to point it out.
12. Me: Our friendship is like the sun!
Friend: *Smiles* because it burns hotter than anything else?
Me: No, it's pointless.
13. I'm not clumsy, I'm just good friends with the walls and the floors!
14. Laughter is the best medicine, but laughing for no reason means you need medicine.
15. My mom told me that everyone has a beautiful side. So I'm guessing that your a circle. (♥)
16. If I needed a new brain, I would choose yours since its barely used.
17. I always thought that I couldn't fly, but one day, my friend pushed me down the fourth floor.
18. Random Guy: You look so ugly!
Me: Sorry, I'm not a mirror.
19. Woman: Why does that person in the photo look like a potato?
Shopkeeper: Miss, that is a mirror.
20. Don't give up on your dreams! Keep sleeping. (♥)
21. If your friends with someone and they just tag along so that they can use your money, just tell them that your using the toilet and on the way out tell them that your friend is paying.
(A/N)
That took me so long to write and summer breaks ending in 2 weeks. AHH!
Anyways, hope you liked it!
