The War for Survival (Survivors #2)

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

-Erika

"Damnit!" I slam my fist on the table in the lab as I watch the vampire claw at the cage its trapped in. Its been over a month and my shoulder had finally healed, so now I can get back to my mission.

"You'll get it next time, I'm sure of it," Jared pats my back and watches the vampire thrash inside its prison.

I've been trying to create the cure and this is my fourth failed attempt. I can't think straight, my mind always traveling back to Alec. He hasn't been around, the only time I see him is when we pass by each other in the hall and we don't even talk. And his ankle had healed so now he's back to going on missions, which only means I see him even less.

Sighing, I turn back to my microscope. "Jared, I think I need to be alone right now. Maybe I'll focus better."

"No problem. I'll see you later." He smiles and waves goodbye and I watch the door close behind him.

I spend hours, writing all over the boards like I did with the vaccine, and trying attempt number five. I take a step back and read over each board that fills up the entire lab wall. I try to force all thoughts of Alec away and focus on the task at hand.

I get to work on number five and prepare to test it.

I place it in the cannister and toss it press the button to release it. I toss it through the bars of the vampires cage and watch the vampire breathe in the gas.

It comepletely evaporates after time has passed and the vampire continues to thrash at the cages bars. "Damnit!" I throw a test tube at the wall and the glass shatters.

My body shakes with anger and frustration and I begin to tear the lab apart. All my emotions flooding back inside and all my pain that I've been hiding away finally resurfaces and sets me over the edge.

Tears stream down my face and I throw a glass beaker at the wall, letting out a frustrated cry as I do.

I shove all my work off the table and papers fly everywhere.

"Hey! Hey, stop!" Arms encompass me and I fight against them. "Erika, stop fighting me!" My mind finally registers who's speaking to me, the one person that's the cause of all of this pain. I sob and my legs buckle underneath me, causing me to start to fall.

Alec's arms keep a tight hold on me, but his legs bend with mine until we're sitting on the ground and I'm in his lap. I sob and shake as all my pain runs over me in waves. "Hey.. shh.. its okay.. its okay.." He strokes my hair and his voice is soothing, calming me down a bit. He rests his head on mine and waits for me to finally calm down before speaking. "What's wrong, Erika? What happened?"

"What isn't wrong?" I stare at the vampire thrashing inside the cage. "I'm a failure. Everytime I try. That's the fifth time its failed! On top of that, the man I love has no memory of me. I can't think straight. I can't function like I should. Everything is building up inside and driving me past the breaking point and there's nothing I can do about it! And the only person who's been able to keep me from destroying myself from all of this, has no idea who I am! Its like I'm in a whole other world, where nothing is the way it should be, everything's wrong! And I have no hope of it ever changing so I no longer have any hope for anything anymore! I can't create the cure, I can't get you to remember, I can't even think straight, I honestly can't do anything other than fail at everything!" I sob and barry my face in his chest as tremors wrack my body.

"Erika, you are not a failure. You can't control what happens, and you can't just make me remember. It comes with time. And if I never do remember.. It doesn't mean you've lost me forever. I'm still Alec. There's just a few things missing."

"I've already lost you forever.. I don't even see you or speak to you, you have no idea what's happened and you probably never will. I just give up.."

He cups my chin in his hand and tilts it up to look at him. "Don't give up on me, Erika."

"I wasn't going to.. Until you gave up on me and left me the day I woke up. And never came back." I push myself out of his arms and leave the lab.

He may not remember me but he does the same thing he's always done. He pushes me away. Over and over again. But this time he pushed me away for good.

I can't keep doing this with him anymore because it always ends so badly. But I never would have thought it would end like this.

I love him. I truly love him. And it doesn't even make a difference for him. He wouldn't even know that this was the first time I ever revealed that I love him.

And to think, the only memories he lost were the ones of me. He only forgot me. Nothing else. Just me.

The only thing that was ever right in my life is gone. And I don't think its ever coming back..