Million Reasons

Chapter Nine: Gasoline

You can't wake up, this is not a dream,
You're part of a machine, you are not a human being

Halsey - Gasoline

The locker room was pretty standard for a precinct, except everything looked just a little bit newer. The lockers in here were metallic blue, the sheen was still glossy on them despite the fact they were covered in Chicago PD stickers that cops usually handed out to kids when they visited schools. Maggie found herself reviewing each one of them sullenly as she perched on the wooden bench. Her cold hands were clasped between her knees as she shivered against the chill. The air wasn't cool in here and despite that Maggie found she couldn't seem to get warm, it was as if her body was as if her body was shutting down and she realized that this was the last of her adrenaline finally fading.

Detective Erin Lindsey was standing up along side of her, that large crime scene camera in her petite hands as she toyed with the focus attempting to calibrate it. The two of them had barely spoke two words to each other before entering the room and Maggie didn't mind the silence. There was far too much buzzing around her head to even begin to process. She'd been there when Voight had told his team about her, it had been humiliating in a way to hear the last two years of her life laid out like that but she knew they needed that information, so she had sat there quietly while he divulged those details. She understood that he was trying to protect her. The house of cards was beginning to topple and he was doing everything he could to back her up. She was at risk of losing her job and her pension if Regan got his way and Maggie couldn't even bring herself to comprehend that possibility.

"I need you to move your hair back behind your shoulders." Lindsey said gently, interrupting her trail of thoughts.

She should have known it would come to this, she had played the victim a number of times over the years but today she actually was one. What Gregor had done to her needed to be documented, it would be proof that she hadn't simply flipped and gone AWOL, because that was how Regan was going to paint it. A case like this going up in flames while he was up for a promotion, the blame would have to land on someone and she was the easiest target.

Maggie pulled her chestnut tresses back away from the hollow of her collarbone until it settled behind her shoulders. Her slender fingers undid the button on her black blazer allowing it to fall open and reveal her pale flesh marred with streaks of dried blood. Her silver crucifix hung between her breasts on a thin chain, marred by spots of Gregor's life force. Maggie swallowed hard against the gorge rising in her throat at the sight of it. She wanted to clean that precious piece of jewelry but she had to let Lindsey do her job so she kept her hands by her sides as the other woman snapped image after image.

It seemed to go on for an age and during that Maggie only responded to obey Lindsey's instructions. Exhaustion was beginning to set in, Maggie could feel that bone aching weariness beginning to seep through her as Lindsey finally stopped taking pictures and placed the camera back on the bench beside of Maggie.

"I'm sorry to ask this." Lindsey said quietly as her eyes took in the other woman's demeanor. It hadn't escaped her notice that her belt was unclasped, she really hoped that Gregor hadn't gone any further, the stories she had heard about that man were brutal and it made her feel sick to think that he could have hurt the brave woman in front of her. "Did he touch you anywhere else?"

Maggie shook her head at Lindsey's words. What he had done to her was bad enough, she would never admit it but she had been terrified back in that room with him. She had known what his intentions were when he'd shoved her up against that wall and she thanked God that Antonio had given her that knife of his.

She could feel prickles along the base of her skull as she thought of his brash hands on her body, the excitement in her eyes as he tore open her blouse. His grip, ironclad on her throat as she fought to breath.

Her stomach revolted, Maggie felt it churn as the acidic bile climbed up into the back of her throat. She launched herself at the trashcan, her hands grasping it tightly as she emptied her stomach into it. Her lithe body wretched as she leaned over, it clad only in her bra and trousers. Lindsey's hands were already gathering up her hair and drawing it away from her features keeping it away from the offending trash as she continued to vomit everything she had eaten in the past twenty four hours. Her hands were shaking when she released the trash can, she stared at them feeling her body beginning to vibrate unwillingly.

"It happens to the best of us." Lindsey soothed as Maggie dropped back down onto the wooden bench, raking her chestnut hair way from her pale features with both hands. Lindsey opened her locker before reaching in and removing a bottle of water and handing it off to Maggie. The other woman took it appreciatively; she swilled her mouth out a couple of times before spitting the contents into the trash can.

"He tried to." Maggie said softly, answering Lindsey's earlier question. She clasped the plastic bottle between her hands, her thumbnail picking at the label. "He didn't get very far."

"Good." Lindsey asserted picking up the crime scene camera in her left hand before gesturing at the carrier bag that Nadia had placed beside the bench earlier."I'm going to give you a few minutes to get changed. If you could put your clothes in the evidence bags that would be great."

Lindsey moved towards the exit, she paused for a moment her hand resting on the door frame as she tilted her head towards Maggie.

"Thank you." she said quietly. "My partner is alive today because you broke protocol."

Maggie said nothing; she simply bowed her head in acknowledgment of the other woman's words before she heard Lindsey close the door lightly behind her.