Million Reasons

Chapter Thirteen: Stand By You

Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you

Rachel Patton – Stand By You

People didn't understand what cops sacrificed for their job, they didn't understand what cops gave up and what they lost, Antonio had always thought that. Hell he was a few days away from becoming a thirty something divorcee with two kids. On top of that he had been shot twice and injured on the job more times than he cared to admit. His flesh was littered with scars from altercations or near misses, the pattern of his career etched upon his skin like a timeline. However he would never give it up, the work he did was important to him, it made the city a safer place for his children to grow up in.

In his heart he knew that Maggie was the same, life hadn't been easy for her. While he'd been slinging dime bags at the age of fourteen trying to make ends meet for his mom, she'd been downtown taking care of her own ailing mother while her dad spent his nights in the closest bar fraternizing with badge bunnies. It wasn't a secret and Maggie didn't treat it as such. It was something that had ghosted her through her years as a cop, he'd heard the sneers behind her back.

Like father, like daughter...

He'd put a few people in their place when he'd heard those rumours. Maggie had had a couple of boyfriends during her time on the force, her most serious relationship had lasted a few of years before it had fizzled out. She was honest, dependent and secure. She didn't deserve her father's legacy but it was a choice she didn't get to make.

He had made the decision to bring her back to his place tonight. He knew it had been the right one as he lingered in the doorway of his bedroom, his bare shoulder resting on the door frame. He had never thought he would see the day that Maggie O'Neill ended up in his bed but here she was tangled up in his sheets, clad only his navy blue CPD t-shirt and a pair of boxing shorts that were way too small for him. Her long lean legs were hooked around quilt. Antonio allowing his gaze to drop to that small Celtic knot tattooed on her left ankle and he found himself smiling. Her dark hair cascaded over his pillow as she muttered in her sleep burying her face even deeper into it. He had never seen Maggie look as carefree as she did right now. There was an innocence there in her pretty features that she never allowed anyone else to see and he felt privileged to be able to observe this side of her. It said a lot about her faith in him. He watched the rise and fall of her chest, his heart berating even harder in his chest. He'd almost lost her today and that thought tortured him more than he would care to admit.

It was the nature of their job, he was aware of that. With Laura he hadn't had to worry about the trouble she was going to get herself into, she was a nice Catholic girl who had taken over the running of her father's restaurant. His soon to be ex-wife had never been the rough and tumble type. His Maggie was the direct opposite and he knew instead of running away from the danger she would always run right towards it. They were similar in that respect and now that the shoe was on the other foot, he had to give his ex credit because after today he wanted nothing more than to wrap Maggie up in cotton wool. He refused to do that, Maggie deserved better and he knew that the job was as much a part of her as it was him. He would never make her choose between him and her career as a cop, he knew what it was like to be placed in that terrible position. He could go crazy thinking of all the things that could happen to her in their line of work, he had known years ago that he was falling in love with her, he just hadn't had the balls to admit it to himself at the time. His feelings hadn't changed in the time they'd been apart, every time he'd laid eyes on her they'd gotten just that little bit stronger until he couldn't deny them anymore.

It was that knowledge that was plaguing him right now. What happened next would be life changing, he could feel it in the very depths of his soul but it had to be on Maggie's terms. He wouldn't rush her not after everything she'd been through. She'd waited for him long enough.

"Sweet dreams." he whispered into the darkness as he took a step back out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.