Here we are again, frantically yelling at one another. It seems most days are spent the same; either one of us is having a bad day that we take it out on the other or one of us did something unpleasing towards the other. All i know is Connor barged into his room fussing at me for some completely unknown reason. It seems another argument is stirring up as this one quietly finishes. I love Connor i really do but this arguing isn't something i love, nor does he. But what else is there to do - he is always distancing himself from me or even making up something so I'm stuck alone - i have school work, while he has many things that occupy his time. He stops his yelling and finally sits on the bed not even looking over at me. Most arguments have gotten worse then the previous ones, the names have gotten more hurtful as the voices behind them have gotten louder.
I stopped trying, just letting him get out his anger then proceed with what is on my mind. Luckily he has stopped which means that if i don't say anything now he will walk out and maybe spend another night at Ricky's. I take a deep breath before finally deciding it was my turn. "I can't deal with this anymore." He looks over at me, his eyes wide as the color of his complication dials down. I knew saying my current thoughts aloud would cause such an issue. He doesn't say anything as he continues to look at me, i glance down not being able to continue the current gaze. i heard the bed shift, i look up to see him standing; his hand frantically pulling at his hair as he paces the floor. I knew my words would possibly cause another argument but they needed to be spoke. "But you think i can?" he questions.
"No" i speak softly, he doesnt seem as angery as i thought but it might be coming sooner. "I love you Connor, but the arguing isnt helping anything." He stops his pacing and glances up at me. His green eyes are still wide but the emptiness is filling them quickly. He expressions change quickly not giving me enough time to keep the happy momments. He walks over to where im curently seated, being my first instinct i scoot back further away from him. Not trying any harder he places himself on the edge of the bed. Many words and sighs escape his lips, he seems so broken up yet torn about with everything curently said. "What can i do?" he finally speaks up.
What can he do? That is something that i never that would be brought up. He wants to try to make this work but it clearly isnt. What makes him think this will work now? Arent we already broken enough now? I set pondering everything that has happened from the first date to now. "Do you want to fix this?" His eyes dart to me, I fear what he is thinking but his expression softens. I never seen him so broken yet alive. I know the fights aren't the best but don't they help pull us together in some mysterious way. "Hell yeah i do, I love you so much and I know this arguing is just fucking everything up." He sighs as his eyes stay focused on me. I move closer to him, feeling that this step is needed to be taken by both of us. "I understand if it's to broken to fix but why not try. We have broken up before and look where we are, always back to each other.
Just know this is something I don't want to end I clearly know you don't so." He turns to me grabbing my hands in his. "Try again?" I look into his green eyes feeling that this is the chance I-we-needed. I nod my head which causes a smile to spread across his beautiful face. That smile is something I haven't seen in so long. He moves his hand up to my cheek letting his thumb rub against my bottom lip. "I love you!" he whispers as he leans in closer to me. "I love you Connor." With those words escaping my lips he wasted no time latching his onto mine.
