Author: Adunnikuye1
Book: Other World
1) The Flow:
Your writing style was fluid and flowed substantively well. I didn't have a problem with reading it AND I was glad you had no major grammatical mistakes or awkward sentences.
Personally, when I read books and stumble upon such errors, it disrupts the voice that echoes in my head. SO GOOD JOB!
Consistency is key; thank you for maintaining that throughout.
2) Characters who resonated with me:
To be honest, Heather's personality kind of struck a chord. You didn't really state it, but you've subtly indicated that she was blunt and stubborn. My type of people! I'm glad you didn't utilize direct character development and gradually pointed out her persona during her conversations with Christian.
Christian is interesting. I didn't like the part where Christian describes and notices intricate features of his teacher. It's just weird for a guy to notice let alone reflect on a mans features IF he's not gay. I don't want to be a spoiler alert for those who plan to read your book, so you could PM me and correct me if I'm wrong! (Remember, this is constructive criticism. I say this to better improve your writing skills/focus)
Your story line isn't as clear as I would have liked it to be (the first chapters are crucial; it hooks the reader in & kind of foreshadows the upcoming chapters) BUT you've managed to condense the traits of your main characters in just two chapters! That's a great start!
Keep writing, you're getting somewhere!!
3) Rank:
6 1/5 (I honestly don't know what the story is about, it would be hard to provide an accurate rating)
YOU ARE READING
Reviews and Ranks
RandomI feel like giving constructive criticism. I did this before and then deleted it. Whoever manages to find this, well you're in for an honest but a simple-straight-to-the-point review plus a ranking out of 10 :) ! P.s Votes are given for every chapt...
