Author: MaySkyfire
Book: My Bodyguard and I
The Flow:
I took into consideration that English isn't your native language, hence why the rank of this book is solely based on your storyline. I'd just like to point out that despite the grammatical mistakes and the awkward sentences I encountered, I still managed to enjoy the book! The way you write and describe the scenery of the story is extremely indulging, and I applaud you for that. You just need to work on the first two chapters, you need to work on your tenses and you sometimes shift between third to first person. The first two chapters are vital, it's kind of like a make or break for readers, you know? And also! After quotations make sure you capitalised the letter which comes after it, I noticed that you use lowercase. I'm 100% sure that once you edit your book, you will gain a good amount of readers because you have a beautiful way of delivering your words.
Note:
Nathalie didn't resonate with me only because you didn't portray her personality effectively. I had trouble understanding who she was as a person. You mentioned in your description that she had been the fun kind of girl and then you pointed out that she was a model employee, but later on you described her as a shy, introvert. The way her character developed contradicted how you portrayed her initially.
Characters who resonated with me:
Cassius
I literally fell in love with him. Th element of mystery you illustrated was on point. I was so confused and upset when she had that dream! I honestly thought it was real. I'm so grateful it wasn't haha because even if it's a slow process it makes it 10 times more effective when this shielded, mysterious character unravels... That scene you painted, when he laughed in the car, it made my heart smile. He's so dazzling and I urge you to keep it from Nathalia's point of view. It would defeat his mystifying personality... leave it to the readers imagination to determine his thoughts. Trust me it's all the more interesting!
Rank: 7/10 (:
VOUS LISEZ
Reviews and Ranks
AléatoireI feel like giving constructive criticism. I did this before and then deleted it. Whoever manages to find this, well you're in for an honest but a simple-straight-to-the-point review plus a ranking out of 10 :) ! P.s Votes are given for every chapt...
