Supernatural Oneshots

Six-> Bickering

"Froot Loops or Honey Bunches of Oats?" Dean asked, holding up the two cereals.

Castiel frowned. "Um, waffles." He replied with sass.

Dean's eyes went wide as he made a dramatic gesture. "Oh, wow, sorry to have offended you, my king."

"Damn right."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Are you trying to be a dick?"

Castiel glared. "I don't know, is it working?"

Dean reared back. "Who the fuck pissed in your wheaties?" He demanded.

"You when you asked to go to the damn store!" Castiel replied venomously.

"What the hell did you have against shopping?"

Castiel sighed, mentally counting to ten. "I didn't want to go anywhere today, Dean. And then you're just like 'oh, well, let's go shopping!' Like I have nothing better to do. Fuck, you didn't even ask me! You just commanded it and along I went like an obedient dog!"

Dean raised his hands in surrender. "Clearly, I didn't fucking realize you were in a mood, dear husband!" He yelled.

Castiel smiled in an angry 'fuck you' way. "I'm only in a mood because I'm shopping with you."

"Fine, whatever, Cas. Be a bitch, I don't care. I'm gonna go get some lunch meat." He walked off.

"Get some salami!" Castiel shouted into the next aisle where Dean was.

"Fuck you, I'm getting ham!" Dean shouted back. He muttered to himself angrily as he made his way to the meats section. "Excuse me!" He called impatiently to the worker.

A woman with a blue shower-cap-looking hat and a long white lab coat appeared around the back corner. "How can I help you today, sir?" She asked politely, smiling.

Dean relaxed slightly. He knew it would be wrong to yell at this person when it wasn't even her fault he was mad. "Can I get a half pound of turkey? And then some..." he looked down at the case. "Ooh, some of that honey ham? Yeah, I'll take a half pound of that."

The girl bagged up all the meat and set it on the scale. "Is that all for today?" She asked as she weighed it.

"No." Dean pouted childishly. "I'm gonna need some salami too." He said quietly.

The girl nodded. "Half pound?"

"Yes." Dean replied annoyedly. "Thank you, have a good day." He gave her a short smile as he put all the stuff in the cart. He opened his phone, deleting lunchmeat from his shopping list on Notes. Now all he needed to get was body wash and toothpaste.

He moved to the appropriate aisle and looked at the options. "Lavender breeze, Old Spice, creamy dream, she wants this..." Dean listed them off. Finally, he landed on one with an apple pie scent. He grinned, tossing it into the cart along with lavender breeze for Castiel. He'd never hear the end of it if he didn't get it, even if they were fighting right now.

"Dean?" Castiel's voice came from behind him.

Dean turned to look at Castiel. "What's up, Cas?" He asked.

"I'm sorry."

"I am too, honeybee. You're stressed out, huh?" Dean gave him a gentle smile.

Castiel nodded silently. "This new job is so overwhelming for me. I feel like if I screw up they're just going to fire me because I'm only a temp." He sighed.

Dean could tell his husband would be in tears if they weren't in public. "Come here, Cas." He brought him into a hug. Castiel held him tightly.

"Let's go home."

•
"Alright, I'm going to get a shower." Dean proclaimed, standing from the couch.

Castiel's eyes went wide. In a second, he bolted off the couch himself, and tore off through the bunker.

"Get back here, you thief!" Dean shouted, running after him. Castiel was not going to get a shower before him. He had all day to do that!

Castiel pretended not to hear and bolted into the bathroom, stripping hurriedly and nearly breaking his neck as he jumped into the shower over the high wall.

"You little shit!" Dean yelled. "I'm coming in too!" True to his word, he threw off his clothes and stepped into the tub.

Castiel smiled at him. "Hello, Dean."

Dean scowled, but he couldn't actually stay mad at his husband. He chuckled at the antics. "Hey, assbutt." He replied, using Castiel's trademarked insult.

Castiel grinned. "You do realize this is what I wanted to happen, right?"

"I figured."
•

"Cas, don't just shove it in like that! She's a lady!" Dean yelled, watching his husband fill his beloved Impala with gasoline.
•

"Castiel!" Dean screamed, tripping over a leg hole of his husband's boxers.

Castiel came running into the room with a concerned look on his face. "What?" He asked breathlessly.

Dean got up, furious. "You leave your shit everywhere! Just yesterday I nearly died when I got one of your ridiculous coins up my foot!"

Castiel glared at him. "They're not ridiculous, Dean. Everyone needs a hobby. I can't just drink my days away like you."

Dean glared back. "I do not drink my days away, sweetheart."

"Then why do I always find your bottles around the house? The trash can is literally RIGHT THERE!"

"Fuck you." Dean rolled his eyes.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me, mister!" Castiel yelled.

"Why? You always do!"

"I get to, I own your ass." Castiel replied.
•

"She's my cherry p-"

Dean glared at Castiel's hand on the radio dial. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Changing the channel." Castiel responded, still hunting for a radio station. "Ooh, I love this song!" He started singing to some Taylor Swift.

"Uh, no." Dean slapped his hand from the dial and changed it back to his classic rock. "Sweet cherry-

"My cake hole will not be shut!" Castiel declared, switching it once more. 

Dean seethed slightly. "Change it back." He commanded.

"No." Castiel replied defiantly.

"Cas."

"No, Dean. We are listening to Taylor Swift."

Dean made a move to turn the dial. Castiel slapped his hand away.

"Excuse you!" Dean yelled, changing it back quickly before Castiel could slap him again.

"Asshole." Castiel muttered.

"What did you say?" Dean demanded.

Castiel whirled. "I CALLED YOU AN ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE!"
•

"Are you guys okay, Dean?" Sam asked gently, watching as Castiel glared at him after yet another argument.

"Sammy," Dean began smiling, pulling Castiel beside him with his arm. "He's the fucking love of my life."

Castiel grinned. "Don't you forget it."