❝ I'm scared, scared I'll go back to being broken now that he isn't here to fix me anymore❞
Before, Florence Clarke was hospitalised for having anorexia, she was put on The List at Phillipson High and named the Fat Girl, at first Oakwood Clinic seem...
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Florence put down the newspaper with a deep sigh, it wasn't enough for her to publish he entire life in a book, this didn't end now that her book was a best-seller, of course the people wanted to know more about her as a person, pry into her personal life, camp outside her parents doorstep armed with flashing cameras and microphones.
She had received a harried call from her Mother that morning advising her to stay away for a few more days, the reporters were becoming more and more frantic, everyone wanted an exclusive, they all wanted to shift more papers, she had called Natalie yesterday and told her she couldn't do the interview for Elle Magazine.
She had stayed holed up in the flat for the past four days, increasing paranoia rising in her every time her phone buzzed with a notification, she hadn't wanted to be famous when she'd called Trident Publishing, she had just wanted her story out there to help and to heal, she'd wanted Chase's story immortalised so he could never truly die in readers hearts, she hadn't asked for harassment.
Cole barely left his room either, he only left to eat and then spent the rest of the day listening to loud grungy music and playing on his guitar off-tune, the few times she'd bothered to ask him if he was okay, he hadn't even looked at her, he'd just stared at the ceiling where fluorescent stars were painted and grunted an indistinguishable response.
She was sure she'd heard him crying on more than one occasion.
She didn't know what to do, here she was stuck in this flat, rooted by her anxiety and she was utterly hopeless when it came to the ever changing Cole.
For the first time since she had left she found herself craving the simplicity of Oakwood, at least there she had known her place, known what her day would be like, it hadn't held this scary thought of the unknown, life had been simple, and when Chase was still there life had been great.
She knew where she wanted to go as she put on her boots and wrapped a scarf three times around her face, as she emerged from the flat she blinked at the dreary looking sun, Phillipson had just begun to show the signs that winter was here, frost coated each strand of grass and the pavement was slippery.
The cemetery was a bus ride away, the bus was almost empty as she staggered on to it, she wasn't used to walking around so much these days, she was surprised her legs even worked after days of simply laying down and not moving.
The only other passenger was an elderly looking man and his dalmatian, as she passed the dog snuffled its nose into the palm of her hand and she leant down to pet it as the old man smiled.
"Going to visit someone dearie" he said tutting sympathetically and staring at the graveyard with sad eyes.
Florence nodded, she couldn't bring herself to say anymore, she gave him a tight smile and left the bus like her coat was on fire.
The cemetery was still, it was like all life had ceased to exist there, which in a way it had. A stab of pain hit Florence as she walked between the grave stones, some where broken and decrepit, these people had once had people who loved them, who had grieved and mourned for them and now they were reduced to a pile of bones and stale tears.
She walked over to the more freshly dug graves and immediately saw his name like a shining beacon:
Chase Roberts
Friend, Loving Son & Carer
You will be missed
She shivered, she hadn't actually expected the grave to be there, because in her mind he was still alive, she played out the pantomime that he'd never contracted his illness in the first place, she knelt down and stroked the gravestone imagining those strong arms enveloping hers once more, imagining that she would be safe and protected.
She cleared her throat, feeling the urge to speak.
"Chase I've messed up" she said gasping for air
"I've well and truly messed up, I can't look after Cole and I'm crumbling down all over again and nothing can stop me this time, because your not here"
He wasn't here.
Chase Roberts wasn't here.
But Cole Roberts was.
What would Chase have done had it been her gone and had it been her sister that he needed to save?
He wouldn't be sitting her weeping and trying to shut out the world, he would be there and he would be making a change, making a difference.
She blew a kiss in his direction, she loved him but he was gone, she had to face reality, she had to take action and stop hiding away from the inevitable.
She opened the now familiar flat door with a resounding thud and immediately marched towards Cole's room, it reeked of must and dust congregated in little circles.
She walked over to the curtains and thrust them open with a flourish.
Cole groaned and lifted the covers further up his face.
"Hey!" she pulled them away
"What are you doing, let me sleep" he complained.
"Nuh-uh matey, you've done enough sleeping and enough drinking and enough lounging around to last a lifetime, its 3pm, get out of your bed, have a shower, clean up this pig-sty and change your God damn clothes! You stink"
She felt deep satisfaction at getting to order him around, at bringing structure to someone else's life.
"I didn't realise my Mother had come back from the grave as you Clarke" he growled
She just rolled her eyes, he needed to grow up and start living his life, he didn't have any excuse, she'd help him get help if help was what he needed but right now he needed to climb out from under the rock he had put himself under.
Grumbling under his breath, Cole grabbed a towel and walked into the bathroom, she heard the splashing sounds of water and smiled triumphantly, so she could make him do things she hadn't wanted to.
She imagined Chase beaming at her proudly and smiled right back.
Today she was going to clean this flat.
She was going to answer all the emails in her inbox.
She was going to give out a public statement to the pestering media.
And she was going to make Cole Roberts independent and living his life to its full potential.
Because she was Florence Elizabeth Clarke and when she set her mind to it she could do anything and achieve anything.
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