❝ I'm scared, scared I'll go back to being broken now that he isn't here to fix me anymore❞
Before, Florence Clarke was hospitalised for having anorexia, she was put on The List at Phillipson High and named the Fat Girl, at first Oakwood Clinic seem...
Natalie wanted her to continue writing, but what did she write about?
She'd just got off an hour long conference call where everyone seemed to have decided without her that she needed to write more, that her fans were desperate to know more about her story, but Florence didn't want to write more, she felt like her life had reached such a standstill, with Cole forgetting all about her and an empty flat where dishes were piled up in the sink and a whiff of sadness hung in the air.
It was at times like this that she began to have some seriously morbid thoughts, what would have happened if her parents had never called the clinic?
Where would she be now?
Would she be happy?
Was having those golden months of happiness some kind of compensation for the bad cards she'd been dealt in life?
If so, now she had hit rock bottom.
Life with Chase outside the clinic wouldn't have been perfect if he had made it, no relationships were but it would have been their definition of what was perfect that would have mattered.
She logged back on to her twitter, she had 1092 notifications that she had no way of answering so she closed her eyes and picked a few at random still feeling like she should be doing more. Florence Clarke didn't do interviews anymore, that was her publishers official statement though it made her seem haughty and somehow privileged, she also knew that there was no way she could do anymore interviews.
Not all reporters were as understanding as Alex.
The Elle Magazine interview he had conducted with her was due out next week and she felt a real sense of trepidation, she had probably said some things way back then that she would regret sharing once she read it.
But the past couldn't be undone so there was no point worrying about it.
Cole was seeing an amnesia specialist today by the name of Doctor Colchester, she was meant to be an expert in matters concerning memory loss and had fervently assured Florence that if anything could be done to make him remember she would tell him to do it.
And then tomorrow, tomorrow Cole came back to the flat, she had become used to being alone here, yes, she had hated being alone but it had also been something that needed to happen, dependency on other people never got you far in life.
Her and Cole didn't have the same kind of understanding with each other as Chase and her had, it wouldn't be easy to jog his memories because the memories they shared were usually painful or angry, they didn't have many happy moments and every happy moment had been painted with a tinge of sadness and longing for what once was and what could have been, Florence had failed Chase in that way she was meant to fix things not break them beyond repair.
If what Charlie had said was true, and Florence was still sceptical, Cole's memory loss might also be a blessing in disguise, she could mould the relationship they had into a form that suited her better, that would surely cause less heartbreak and turmoil. She wasn't ready for a relationship, especially not one as complicated as one with Cole Roberts.
She would feel too guilty, a relationship with Cole would be some kind of cruel mockery of what she had with Chase, and she would set her expectations too high, want him to be someone he wasn't, the curse of identical twins.
No, it was better for everyone if they had an amicable friendship.
Florence surveyed the website in front of her, Freeway University, she hadn't ever really considered higher education, she'd thought that her writing would be the thing that would take her forwards, guarantee her a secure future, but what she was beginning to realise was that once she had written all she could about herself, there really wasn't much left for her to write.
And suddenly going to university was looking like a very attractive option, it was an escape in the most helpful way.
She could leave Cole at peace in this flat to try and figure his life out without her as an added complication, she could do something for herself and only for herself, spend three years away, get a qualification she'd always wanted to study English in more depth.
Going away and studying would mean she would actually have clear direction, Levi had told her that she needed to stop begrudging herself a life and maybe this was the way to do that, Phillipson held only sadness and bittersweet memories.
And as for the people she loved, if they really loved her back they wouldn't stop her doing this, taking her first small steps at independence at living her life by her rules for herself.
She imagined Chase next to her, squeezing her hand tight and making some witty remark about how this was one small step for Florence, one huge leap for mankind.
Her application was sitting there, just waiting to be sent, physically there was nothing stopping her, all she needed to do was outstretch one finger and click the send button, mentally her brain was fighting a war, indecision rooting her to the spot.
Anyone can see Florence, he's head over heels for you
But was that the life she wanted?
Settling for what seemed inevitable because it was the easy choice or really living, leaving behind everything she had ever known would be scary, but wasn't that what life was meant to be?
An adventure filled with self-discovery.
Taking a deep breath and bracing herself, Florence clicked the send button and imagined her email making its way through hundreds of others into the Colchester University Admissions Inbox.
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