One and Only (LAMS)

Welcome Back

John had been avoiding visiting Alex, dreading it, because every time he went into that room his bloody hallucination would lecture him about what a disappointment he was, and how likely it was that Alex wasn't going to wake up. It wasn't until Peggy told him he really needed to see Alex soon, he did, to get a grip on reality.

John entered Alex's room cautiously, his unconscious body bathing in warm sunlight, making him glow angelically. He paused for a moment to admire how beautiful Alex looked, how peaceful Alex looked, laying silently, the steady pulse of the heart rate monitor beating slowly. John moved forward and finished beside Alex's bed, lowering himself into a seat ever so slowly. He stared at Alex in awe for a while before snapping out of it, sitting back a little and nervously fidgeting his hands in his lap. He was just waiting for hallucination Alex to show up, but he hadn't come.
"H-hey Alex." John whispered quietly, looking down to his lap. "I-it's been a while," he laughed a little, looking back up at him.

"I would ask how you're going, but I think it's pretty evident," John chuckled light heartedly, his smile faulting a little before returning. "Peggy made a smooth recovery, she's back on her feet again, happy and healthy. Eliza is good, but you probably knew that since she's in here every 5 seconds checking on you," John laughed sheepishly, guilt rising because he wasn't.

"Angelica is fine too, she spends a lot of time caring for her father. Philip's leg was crushed when the car was hit up front," He cringed a little. "Hercules and Laf have been sending me snapchats from their trip, they've been worried sick about you but they come home tomorrow," John continued to explain, closing his eyes and sighing. "It would be nice if you could wake up for them," he spoke quietly, opening his eyes. "F-for me,"

He watched Alex for a little longer, finally inhaling a shaky breath and leaning forward in his seat. "Who am I kidding, I don't want you to wake up," John sighed with frustration. "I need you to wake up."

"I can't live without you Alex, not having you, it's haunting me," John explained, running his hands through his hair. "Y-You're literally haunting me! I can't g-go anywhere without a-a hallucination of you telling me that you're never waking up!" He exclaimed, digging his nails into his scalp. He heaved a deep breath, dropping his hands in his lap and throwing his head back, squeezing his eyes shut, a small tear rolling down his cheek.

"I-I've been having trouble s-sleeping, a-and there isn't a second of the- of the day when I'm not thinking about y-you," he stammered quietly. No crying. He couldn't cry. He opened his eyes again and stood from his chair, kneeling at Alex's bedside and grabbing his hand. "I love you so much Alex, I love you so fucking much," he struggled to speak, sobs rising in his throat and jerking his body. He clutched Alex's hand and flopped onto the bed, crying into the crisp white sheets.

Suddenly, a light pressure squeezed against John's hand. John's head shot up and he shuffled backwards, falling and scrambling against the cold linoleum floor. He hastily grabbed the chair he was previously seated on and pulled himself up.

"Don't fuck this up for me," John growled, aiming for Alex's hallucination to hear him, but the room remained silent. John's eyes fell onto Alex again and he stared for a while, part of him wanting Alex to stir awake, but another wanting him to stay still, to stay sane.

But it happened.
Alex pressed his lips together in a thin line, his hands shaking a little. His eyes fluttered open slowly before closing again, a quiet groan rising in his throat. The heart rate monitor picked up but John didn't notice, his eyes were as wide as the sun, trained on Alex.

"J-John?" Alex coughed, his voice soft and hoarse. John shook his head and took a cautious step backwards.
"No, leave me alone, I just wanted to talk to Alex and you can't let me have that! You can't let me have anything!" He yelled at Alex accusingly, digging his nails into his palms.

"John, w-what are you talking about," Alex asked slowly, his face contorting into an expression of fear. "Where am I?"
"Shut up! Shut up!" John yelled, flailing his hands up and squeezing his eyes shut. "I want the real Alex!"
"I-I am the real Alex, John what's going on?" Alex began to panic, gripping his bedsheets weakly as his heart monitor spiked.

"NO! Just get out of my head!" John roared, crumbling to his knees on the floor and sobbing uncontrollably.
Alex feebly pulled back his bed sheets and pulled off his heart monitor attachment, swinging his legs over the edge of the hospital bed. He prepared to climb out but John threw up a hand. "STOP! Don't- Don't come near me!" He cried, his cheeks shining with tears. Alex didn't listen. He pressed his feet on the ground and prepared to stand up but his muscles weren't ready for it and he toppled to the ground beside his bed. John scuttled backwards, his sobs quieting down as Alex hissed with pain, holding his side.

He turned to John and slowly made his way towards him, still holding his side with one arm. John shook his head frantically, an expression of fear plastered over his face. Alex reached out to John but John shoved him away sharply, pushing Alex back down to the floor. Alex yelped with pain as he was thrown backwards and John's eyes widened.

The hallucinations didn't feel pain, he was never able to fight back against them. This wasn't a hallucination. This was Alex. This was the real Alex. John opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a nurse yelling from the door way.

"What is going on here?" She called out, surging into the room and running to Alex's side.
"A-Alex, it's you, you're awake, you're alive," John uttered in disbelief, two pairs of hands wrapping around his arms. John glanced up in fear as Eliza and a male nurse began tugging him away, but he thrashed out of their grip, lunging towards Alex. "No no please! Alex! Alex I'm sorry!" He called out, the tears returning. Alex watched him with scared eyes, tears spilling down his cheeks. He looked so fearful and confused. The nurse and Eliza got their grip back and began to pull John out of the hospital room roughly.

"ALEX! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU I'M SORRY!" He cried as he was tugged away, trying desperately to escape their hold. "LET ME GO! ALEX I'M SORRY!" He cried, his voice cracking. Once John was out of the room his screams still echoed down the hall, Alex turning to the nurse with an expression of worry.

"Welcome back Mr Hamilton," she greeted calmly.
"What's going on?" He uttered, his voice cracking and his eyes wide.
"You've been unconscious for exactly two weeks,"