The Danish Delight (Mads Mikkelsen)

Chapter 30: "Well-being"

Chapter 30: "Well-being"

Confusion. Confusion overtook the gist of what I felt. Confusion blinded the hate, the love, the sadness, the jealously, the despair, and the betrayal that had carved my brokenness. Confusion left me in a state of emotionless neutrality that overreached the boundaries of my faith and understanding. Confusion forced upon me a physical and psychological illness that questioned my morals and caved my initial being. Confusion enslaved me; I was confused with my own confusion... and that scared me beyond all words of inconceivable expression.

Most of my clothing and the remainder of my luggage from our trips was still in Mads' possession, but I hadn't cared in the least. Despite his never-ending attempts to contact me, I cut all forms of communication necessary to keep my distance from Mads and the rest of society. I locked myself within my apartment and had food delivered to my door so I'd never have to step out. My cellphone was turned off and buried away from my sight in the deep pit of my drawer; I even brought myself to the measure of snapping my SIM card in half to keep anyone from tracking my whereabouts.

Depression could not even remotely describe the state of worthlessness I was in. The way he used me. How easily he discarded my feelings. I was simply a pawn in his twisted little love game. I was a useless surrogate he could keep under his command and fuck whenever he pleased. He knew what buttons to press and he knew exactly when to press them. I was wrapped in endless loops around his finger and was willing to give the entirety of my soul to him. I believed him when he whispered sweet nothings in my ear late at night and valued the truth behind the three simple words that never ceased to make my knees weak and increase my desire for his being. I was a fool, a fool for allowing him to convince me that we were in love... allowing him to convince me that I was his salvation... his angel.

I cried. I cried for days and didn't speak a word. The only place in the world I'd wanted to be at the moment was back home, with my family. Despite what had previously occurred between my father and I, they were the only thing that made sense in my sea of confusion. Only their voices could console me... fill the pitted black hole that was my emptiness.

I coughed aloud, carrying complete distress in my throat, as I finally spoke through the pay-phone just outside my apartment. "Mom, does that plane offer still stand?"

"Offer? Elise, what are you talking about? You know that your father and I have been worried sick about your well-being ever since you rushed out of the house that day?"

"I know Mom. I know." My voice shook as I struggled not to burst into tears for the millionth time.

"Elise?" My mother recognized my echoed pain. "Elise, what's going on? Are you alright?"

"No, Mom, I'm not. I'm light years away from being alright! I'm falling apart." The emotion spilled out of my yearning mouth and my tears fell once more.

"Oh, sweetheart... What is it you need? Anything, just say the word."

"I.. I need to come home, Mom. Please say I can come home. I- I'm all alone, Mom, and I just need to be anywhere but here right now."

"Elise, you can always come home. Pack your bags and we'll purchase a one-way ticket for the soonest flight out from LAX. Whatever it is honey, whatever's going on, we'll fix it... I promise."

My face burned as I squeezed my soggy eyes shut, knowing that what had truly occurred could never be fixed. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

"I'll see you soon, sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you too, Mom." I sniffled and inhaled deeply before disconnecting the line.

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