HMU

one hundred thirty nine

The next morning Lauren stands in the kitchen, stirring creamer into her coffee. She sets it down momentarily to place her leftovers from yesterday's breakfast into the microwave. Leaning back against the counter with her coffee in hand as she waits, she takes a few sips.

She wouldn't admit to anyone that she got the poorest sleep. It wasn't even because the couch was uncomfortable, it was because she hated fighting, especially with Camila. If she wasn't so stubborn and they'd just talked it out then and there, maybe Lauren wouldn't be going to work with a crook in her neck (and her mind).

She was absolutely dreading going to work, as much as she loves working at a gallery and being around art all day. If her supervisor hadn't been such a hard ass and had allowed her five minutes to make a simple call to Camila with one of the office phones, maybe none of this would have happened.

The girls had all left sometime last night, after Lauren was already pretending to be asleep. She'd heard their quiet footsteps come down the stairs and had immediately turned away so that if any of them glanced at her, they wouldn't see her cry. She knew it wasn't their fault, but they'd all come over to comfort Camila after believing that she'd been unfaithful, and Lauren had to admit that it hurt.

Gentle footsteps on the stairs alert Lauren that Camila is coming down, a panic settling in her stomach as she glances around for something to keep ahold of her attention, not wanting to look at her girlfriend in this very moment. She grabs an unfinished crossword Camila's father had left out this morning before going to work himself — and that was another thing that had kept Lauren up, both of Camila's parents seemed to always be out late (and then they wake up at ungodly hours for work??), so when they got back home last night, Lauren was really hoping they didn't question her presence on the couch.

Still pissed from the night before, Lauren spots a word that she begins to fill in. "Twenty-six down, ten letter word.. Accepted as true or certain to have happened without proof." Lauren reads aloud, hearing Camila stop in the kitchen doorway. "I believe that would be an assumption." Lauren pauses as she writes the word into the space provided. "The word assumption is kind of funny. There's a saying my mom told me once; assumptions make an ass of you and me. Do you get it, Camila? You should never assume things to be true?"

"Lauren—"

"But still, I guess we're all human. We all doubt things and we want immediate answers 'cause we're impatient." Lauren goes on, turning around to face her girlfriend. "But I never thought you'd doubt me."

Camila ducks her head, the guilty expression having never left her face since she began her descent down the stairs. Hell, it'd probably been engraved on her face since last night. "Lauren—"

"I thought we made a promise, Camila. Two weeks ago when you gave me this ring, I took it as confirmation that I was yours and you were mine and nobody else could be a part of what we have, because it's ours. I took it as 'I trust you with my heart'." Lauren pauses, fiddling with the ring on her finger. She wouldn't take it off, though; that was one thing she would never do. "I thought this meant something, but clearly it doesn't."

"Lauren..." Camila mumbles quietly, taking a step closer. "Please, let me apologize."

Lauren doesn't say anything more, just leans back against the counter and waits.

"I'm sorry for thinking you'd do something like that..." She starts. "I don't know why I did. Maybe it was just easier for me to think that you were off somewhere safe than it was for me to picture you hurt again, even if in the end the outcome would only hurt me."

Lauren's brows furrow as she tries not  to let her expression falter. She watches Camila take a few steps into the kitchen, albeit slowly as not to make Lauren uncomfortable.

"I know I didn't live up to the promises we made each other, but I swear I've learned something from this. You're an amazing, trustworthy woman and I'm sorry I let my fears get in the way of seeing that. I'll never doubt you again." Camila stops in front of Lauren, who's given up trying to keep up her angry charade. She bites her lip, blinking away tears as her eyes move all along Camila's face. "I love you and I trust you, and I'm sorry for making you think otherwise. God knows you don't deserve it, Lauren."

She reaches for Lauren's hand slowly, taking it in hers and lifting it up to kiss just above where the ring sat on Lauren's finger.

"I promise you I won't let my own insecurities get in the way again. Because if I'm being honest, I find it very hard to believe that you chose me, when you could have anyone else in the world."

Lauren lifts the hand that was not firmly holding Camila's, cupping her cheek and pressing their foreheads together. "You're the only one that I want, Camzi."

"I'm sorry I questioned that."

"It's okay. I'm sorry I reacted the way I did instead of talking to you about it. But you know sometimes I can get a hot head." Lauren chuckles, closing her eyes and taking in the moment.

"I love you, Lolo."

"I love you, too." Lauren smiles, kissing her girlfriend before leaning back to grab her coffee. "Now, wanna watch some cartoons before I have to leave?"

***