Empathy || 707 [EDITING]

17| Exulansis

Seven collapses on his bed exhausted, completely worn out physically and mentally. As soon as his face hits the pillow, his eyes start to flutter shut. He just wants to sleep and forget about everything that happened. The boy knows nothing better than the darkness.

But Seven still feels the lingering guilt and shame. Remorse for the terrible deed he had committed. This one has felt so much worse than the others. He had tried to change but in the end, he was no better than his enemies.

That's why the pain was so emotionally invested. He had tried so hard to change. Seven had tried to do something good for once, help others in need. But it wasn't enough. Seven knows he can't run from his past.

It will always find him in the end.

He's a murderer.

The ginger lifts his splinted hand into the air, wincing in pain as he tries to flex his joints. He has broken 2 fingers, thankfully not his whole hand. It hurts like hell, but that's what he gets for punching the goddamn wall.

It had taken Seven all night and morning to dispose of Mary's body. He buried her in the woods a few miles from his house. Nobody would find her there, and nobody would be looking. Members of The Crown were not allowed to have friends or family. Seven was an exception of course, but unfortunately for Mary, she would never be anything more than a Jane Doe.

He feels so guilty. Seven can't think of anything else except the traumatizing event. He's a monster, because of his own choices and now he will have to live on with the memory of watching Mary's head explode right in from of him. But the worst part is only he will know. That's what hurts the most. Nobody deserves this, even someone like Mary. The others he's killed had family, they had people to mourn for them. Even Seven did.

The boy squeezes his eyes shut, trying his best to suppress the tears. He hasn't cried in so long. Last night was the exception. Mary really hadn't meant anything to him, but it was just too much to take. Too much trauma, and too many memories. She was just like the others, but this time he knew he was doing something evil.

Seven can feel the tears threatening to flow, and it makes him angry. He doesn't want to cry. He wants to be happy, that's all he wants. He would like to feel safe for once in his life.

He holds the sadness in until it stings. Seven bites his trembling lip and finally, the tears flow.

So much suffering. And he's done it all alone.

Ever since he can remember, Seven has never been able to confide in another human.

He never had a regular childhood. His mom was an enraged alcoholic, and his father... well, he never knew him. And he never wanted to know. His mother always used him and his brother as a bargaining chip against their father. Which was weird, because he never cared in the first place. She told them that he was a famous and handsome celebrity, and if the news about them got out, his image would be ruined forever. But Seven never knew if was a lie or not. She never cared about their wellbeing, and now Seven doesn't care about hers. He could care less if she was dying. She got what she deserves. Seven remembers her atrocities vividly. She was abusive, and most of the time unconscious. He did everything for his brother.

He shivers just thinking about it. There were nights they went without eating, because their mother had forgotten to feed them.