Grey's Tribute

This Can't Be Taken Back

The wolf keeps us running throughout the night, until mellow hues of pink and purple ever so slight peek out on the horizon, his wolf keeping one eye on the trail and one eye on me. When a chance arises, and his eye is taken off me for a second, I go in for a flank attack, snapping my teeth at empty air. He outmaneuvers us every time, making it look effortless.

My pride has been offended, and my wolf seeks vengeance at every opportunity. With every strike of my teeth, his wolf snaps back but doesn't bite. The warning growl sinks low in his chest. He keeps pushing us on until we approach the back door to a small cottage just on the outskirts of the packhouse. The Northerner sheds his fighting form, returning to skin. I thump my tail, waiting for him to turn around and face me. Without a pack link, we can't communicate without being in human form. Indignation stirs deeply in my wolf, a building storm raging in our veins.

"You smell much better."

I want to tear into his belly and eat his liver while he watches before death claims him. I want my muzzle dripping with his blood. Looking into his eyes, he understands my intent.

"Your eyes glow gold when you're mad, did you know that, Meela? I can tell what you're thinking just looking at your eyes."

I lower my head and take a step closer; ears flattened back. I huff out a breath and wrinkle my nose back, exposing my fangs.

"Meela, there was nothing I could do. My wolf demanded what was his. You smelled of another male. Even you know the consequences of this. Every female knows how a mate would react. I'm no different from your father or brother. What would they have done?"

It's a deep inherited instinct all males have in them. Their wolves are unable to tolerate another male's scent on its mate. I know his words are true, but it doesn't make it any less revolting marking my wolf without consent. He runs his fingers through his beard, grabbing at the end.

He's unapologetic, without remorse.

Lunging for him, trying to attack his calf with my snapping jaw. He turns slightly, so I bang my head on a wall. My dignity shattered while stalking away from him.

"Meela, come inside." He holds the door open for me. "We'll fight all day tomorrow if you want, and all day after that, but for now, we need some sleep. When we are both rested, we need to talk about what's happened. I need to speak with you, Meela. I want to try and start over with you." His eyes hold the dullness of his sadness.

Walking into the small cottage, sniffing around, trying to find any hidden danger or surprise waiting.

"You can have the bedroom. I'll take the couch. There's a change of clothes in the dresser for you. The shower's at the end of the hall. Goodnight, Meela." His voice sounds tired, no fight left in him.

Slinking through the open bedroom door, closing it with my hips and shift. Searching through the dresser for proper clothing. Once dressed and covered completely, I storm out of the bedroom.

It's hard to control my breathing, with the need to fight, I'm seething. My tormentor is lying on the couch in just a pair of boxers, all his skin exposed. Unable to stop my eyes from admiring him from head to toe, the bond making it hard to look away.

His arms are draped across his abdomen carelessly. "Go to bed, little wolf, and put your teeth away."

His tired voice demands that I take a step towards him.

"Don't." It's a command, even if his eyes are still closed.

Taking another step towards him. He can smell the violence coming off my body in the most pungent way.

"Don't, Meela. Go to bed." He doesn't even open his eyes, that's how weak of a threat he thinks I am to him. He brings out the vileness in nature.

My caustic side wants to burn him.

"Don't what, Alpha? What will you do?" Showing an exaggerated pause, tipping my head slightly to him. "Will you whip me again, Alpha? Will you show everyone what a great and powerful leader you are?"

That has him flying off the couch at me. He's inches away, breathing heavily. "Do you think I enjoyed that?"

"Yes." I won't back down. I have nothing anymore; everything has been taken away.

"It had... consequences. You challenged me in front of my entire pack, in front of another Alpha. What did you think I would do? What did you think would happen?"

Now, it's his turn to tilt his head, arms crossed over his chest. It looks more like he's restraining himself from grabbing me. Holding himself away from me, he's trying to seem composed, except for that little tremble in his jaw.

"You make me feel weak, Meela. You awake these feelings that I have no control over."

"So, instead, you take it out on me. Beat your weakness out of me."

He hangs his head in shame. "It was never supposed to happen like that. I thought a few strikes would be sufficient, but you wouldn't relent, you wouldn't concede." He begins pacing in front of me, agitated at the memory.

"I couldn't stop until you submitted to me. I needed to show my authority over you, over the pack, but you wouldn't submit." The dullness in those grey eyes turns them almost colorless with regret. There's such sadness in them; that the need to turn away or comfort him is overwhelming.

"I almost killed you, Meela." The Northerner chokes out his last sentence and sits back down with his hands on his head. He won't even look at me.

"You think I'm alive." I start to laugh like a lunatic that's been off their meds for a long time. "I'm dead, Northerner, you just don't know it yet. I died that night. Everything in me died, I have nothing left."

He's up again and wraps his arms around me, holding me to him.

The warmness of him is naturally soothing. It's ingrained in my Nature for his closeness to comfort me.

"You're very much alive. You just don't know it yet."

He starts to place small kisses over my neck. The sweet lustful smell of his body has me pushing him away from me. His arms only tighten around me, trying to restrain me. I try kicking and hitting him away, screaming for him to let go of me. In two years I haven't been held, I haven't been touch. It sends me into a blind fury with insane rage, but the more I struggle, the more he's able to restrain me.

Both my wolf and I are present, fighting him with every ounce of strength we have. There's an opening, his neck exposed, and we take it, the both of us consenting on ending him.

My canines descend for the death blow. At the last second, his neck angles slightly, and my sharp teeth sink into the base of his neck.

It's a very deep wound; it will leave a scar. Without thought, without his consent or mine, I've inadvertently marked him as mine.

With his blood running down my throat, his thoughts start running through my mind. I can feel him trembling with pleasure from the bite; I can feel his very soul caressing my mind, seeping into my body. I can hear a sigh of pleasure escape his lips, as his body convulses in a violent release. I feel his legs shaking as he holds himself up with my body. Pure ecstasy surges through him into me.

Pushing him away from me, needing to take a step away. He holds his neck, slightly dazed, and I can feel his confusion swarming around my head.

We stand there, regarding each other, no one speaking, just staring at one another. No words can be said. It can't be taken back. This can't be fixed.

What's done is done.