Grey's Tribute

You Wear My Shame

Startled awake by voices talking inside my head,  I'm confused, alarmed at what's happening. There's another person's consciousness surrounding me... soothing me.

It's cocooning me, enveloping me in its love. I try to get up, only to be held down by big arms.

"Shh, it's okay, I got you," The Northerner whispers, his fingers combing through my hair.

The sheet covering my back feels itchy against my heated skin. He's moved us to the bed. I have no memory of that. As the sheet slides off my back, pooling around my waist, letting the cool air hit my skin, I sigh in relief.

He made it a point to wake up early just so he could be awake when I woke up. He wanted his arms around me so I wouldn't be alone when all these strange feelings wash over me, the way he was alone without my comfort to soothe him. He didn't want that for me, he couldn't bear that for me.

I feel some shame. I never realized how alone he felt when I marked him, then walked away from him. No one there in the morning, to hold him as he endured the bombardment of another person's soul cementing into his.

He was all alone. It's an overwhelming experience to go through and he did that all by himself. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I want to spit out and wipe my tongue off from its foulness.

His hair falls into his face as he looks at me. His hand does what my compulsion wants me to do and brushes it off his face as he smiles at me. I can feel the intrusion into my mind, the caress of it... the invasion of it. This changes everything. He knows it. 

He has the advantage.

I'm linked to him, and with it, the pack link opens up to me. I can feel them all, every one of them with their own imprints of subconsciousness.

It feels comforting, the way home just feels right. Being linked to a pack feels beautiful, it satisfies my need of community, my need to belong to something. I'm no longer alone, I have all of them within me. My wolf barks her excitement to this and he, my Northerner, gives a very small chuckle of amusement.

I feel well rested, the best sleep I've had... ever. Stretching, I push myself slightly away, exposing my chest to him. His eyes burn holes into my flesh. His fingers coil into my hair, bringing me hard against him. There's an unsatisfied pleasure that he wants... satisfied.

The heat in me flares with the feel of him. Tentatively, my fingertips trace the muscles on his chest. He gives a little moan, forcing my hormones to chemically unleash an unforgiving wave of desire.

I let the tip of my tongue flick out and suck the skin of his chest. The palm of my hand feels the hardness of his abdomen, I'm going to satisfy his needs just the way he satisfied mine.

I lick my lips and, bending my head down, biting his bottom lip hard. I taste the blood on it as I capture his moan in my mouth.

"You like this, don't you?" He says with my lips pressing against his.

His voice is husky and deep. Growling, I bite him again as I try to seal myself to him. The pressure starts to build again inside me. I moan as I look at him, letting him see how much pleasure this gives me.

He's looking at me, flipping the layers of my mind, experiencing what I'm experiencing. That's when he stops all movement, letting his hand slip from my waist. He eases me off. His excitement dies away as he realizes that what I'm feeling for him, what I'm experiencing, is on a purely animalistic level. It's my hormones raging through my body that allows him to be close to me, to touch me.

I don't feel the deep love for him that he's hoping for. What I feel is what an animal will feel when their heat comes, compelling them to be close to that which will provide the best genetic material for their offspring.