Grey's Tribute

I Revel In His Suffering

As I click in the seatbelt, the door opens and Fin's eyes meet mine. His fingers graze over my hip as he undoes the seat belt.

"Scoot over, I need to go back with you guys." Fin gives me a half smile. His lips almost go the whole way to form a smile but stop short. Just like the taste of his want. He's trying to suppress it...fighting it.

I move my butt over to the middle seat of the truck, while Fin slides in next to me. I'm in between the brothers, feeling a flush creep up my neck. I try to push all improper thoughts away into the deepest, darkest place of my mind.

Fin leans back into the seat, legs spread wide so his thigh is touching mine. I turn my head towards him, trying to gauge his intentions. He's staring out the window into the darkened landscape.

Just like in his brother's case, I can see the little vein in his neck pulse with his increased heart rate. He scratches his chin. I try to scoot away from him only to press against the Northerner's thigh. That little touch is all it takes for his heart to thump louder, stronger, and I feel every last beat through the bond.

Music fills the cab of the truck, so we can't hear one another's breathing. The cool wind from the open window blows my hair wildly. Trying to tame it, I hold it in one hand. Fin tucks a stray piece around my ear, his index finger lingering over the flesh of my neck.

It's black outside, no moon, no stars, just headlights showing the way home. I can sense the fire burning in the tips of the northerner's fingers, the compulsions of his bond begging him to act. I catch the movement with my eyes as he places his palm on my upper thigh like it was the most natural thing to do...innocent. It's just resting, not moving, not rubbing, just there.

It's uncomfortable. The silence between all of us is at its peak, screaming out unsaid words.

Fin's the first to cut through the thickness of it. "Was it like this with Victoria?" He's still staring out his window as he asks the question.

I see the Northerner's knuckles white on the steering wheel. "Yes," he replies sadly. "We've been through this, Fin. I told you I was drawn to her. I... I felt... This is hard for me. I was drawn and couldn't stop. I had no idea, Fin."

Fin looks tortured sitting there staring out at the night. He looks so hurt, so... broken.

"I feel it," Fin says as he continues to look outside. The scenery is a blur as the truck speeds down the road.

I feel like I'm intruding on something so fractured, so ruptured, it's going to crumble apart any moment. The hurt and anger are only pieced together with the cheapest of tape, it's going to give. It's just a matter of time.

"I can smell her, I can almost taste her. She could' have been mine. If I would've found her first, I would have claimed her." The words are uttered in a very gentle tone. If spoken differently, they would've been big fighting words, getting everyone's hackles up, but Fin controlled it with an easy smoothness.

"She's not yours, Fin, you know that." The Northerner's eyes shine as they bore into Fin's... giving out a warning.

I look to Fin, but he just keeps staring out the window, thinking.

"Would you be with her if I took her Virtue?"

"Yes," the Northerner replies instantly. "I would have her no matter what. I want her no matter what. She's mine."

I almost want to cry at those words spoken so truthfully.

"Meela." The way my name rolls off Fins tongue makes me squirm in my seat slightly. It doesn't have the exact same effect as the northerner has on me. It's more of a gentle caress, whereas the northerner's voice has the force of a hurricane.