Behind Classroom Doors (student/teacher)

XIV- Kiss Me

I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about what happened to Mr. Morgan and I. It's like a movie that I replay over and over in my head. "He can't make you feel as good as I can." Those words make me shiver and I have to shake my head to stop thinking about it. I have a hard time believing that it's real, that my very hot teacher actually kissed me. He pinned me against a wall and kissed my neck while I ran my hands through his hair. I shake my head again, I need to get it out of my brain. At least it's Saturday and I don't have to see him for a couple of days.

"You look like you're deep in thought." I jump slightly at the sound of Dean's voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I let myself in." He explains as he shows me the key in his hand.

I sit up in my bed and pull my knees up to my chest. "I just didn't expect you to be here." I told him twice I needed space and yet here he is.

Dean comes up to me and sits on my bed, "You haven't been answering my calls." When I don't respond he looks down and sighs, "I don't know how to make it up to you." He admits.

I was being honest when I told Mr. Morgan that I didn't want to leave Dean. The only problem is I also don't know how to forgive him. "I don't know...you've gotten so mean lately. I don't even know who you are anymore."

To my surprise I see a tear fall down Dean's cheek. Is he crying? "I'm just so scared of losing you after this year is over. Every time I think about it I get angry. Then you do things that make it easier for me to lose you. You can't leave me, Liv." He cries. I move over to grab his head and pull him to me.

He cries on my chest while I stroke his hair and rub his back. "Shh, it's okay." I comfort him while his tears soak through my shirt.

"I'm so sorry." I continue to shush him and hold him until he's calm. "Do you still love me?" He asks with a sniffle.

"Of course I do." Dean lifts his head to look at me. "I'm not going to leave you," I reassure him.

"Leaving him needs to happen when you're ready." Mr. Morgan's words ring through my head but I tune it out. I'm not ready...I don't know if I ever will be.

Dean sits up and pulls me in for a kiss. I lean into him, kissing him back. "I love you so much, Liv," Dean says as he pushes me back onto the bed. With him now on top of me, he moves to kiss my neck. I like the way he kisses me, it's familiar. However, I can't help but compare him to Mr. Morgan. With Dean, there's no electricity or fire. There's just his lips on my neck.

I need to snap out of it. Dean is the one I'm with, not my teacher. We never should've happened in the first place. Dean continues kissing my neck but I think about yesterday, I think about Mr. Morgan.

"We should stop," I say, needing to get my teacher out of my head.

Dean hovers over me, "Why?" He questions.

I push him off of me so that he lays beside me on his back, "I'm just not feeling very well." I lie.

I'm a teenage girl, I should want my boyfriend to make out with me and take my virginity. It's hard to feel that way when images of my teacher keep popping up in my head.

"I'll see you later." Dean says as he kisses my cheek and watches me walk into Mr. Morgan's room.

Once he walks away I shut the door and look at my teacher. When his green eyes meet mine he says, "I didn't think you were coming in today." He always says that.

I stay put at the door, gripping my bag strap tightly. "I wasn't sure if I was going to come." Admitting this to him seems to not phase him at all.