XXII

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Jimin p.o.v.

I turn on my side, expecting Yoongi to be next to me. Only he wasn't.

"Yoongi?" I whisper loudly, getting out of bed in a panic.

I turn on the lights, only no trace of him.

"YOONGI!" I call out once more, only to receive no response. "Shit!"

The door to the living room was already open, so was the door to the bathroom. The lights on the other hand were all turned off. As i make my way to the bathroom i can hear Yoongi silently sobbing.

Thank god a sign of life.

I open the bathroom door further, revealing him sitting on the cold floor, hugging his own body. An empty pill bottle on his left and sweat dripping down his shaking body.

"Go away, you're not real. Go away, you're not real. Go away, you're not real." He repeats to himself through his crying.

"Yoongi what did you do," I ask softly, picking up the empty pill bottle from the floor, "Did you take all of them?"

"He came to see me, telling me you were lying and he was real."

"So you took all of those pills!?"

Yoongi looks up at me, his eyes red and swolen from crying he nods.

"But i threw them up again, all of them."

I sigh loudly, relieved he was that smart himself.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I ask him, grabbing onto his hands.

"Because i knew you would stop me."

A long silence follows, not sure what to do now. He was in a bad place, and probably still had a lot of those pills in his system. If i took him tot he doctor, they'd lock him up again. I wasn't going to lose him.

"Let's get you off of this cold floor," I say, ready to lift him up.

He shakes his head, playing with the inside of my fingers.

"Yoongi co-"

"If i kill myself he will leave forever right?" He suddenly says, locking eyes with me

"Excuse me? I'm not going to let you take your own life!"

Yoongi only continues staring at me, expecting me to answer his question. In a sense he was right, Taehyung would be gone, but so would he. 

"I'm right, that's why you're not answering me."

"Yoongi how do you think it'll affect me if i find you dead one day, knowing i wasn't good enough to stop you from taking your own life?"

"Shitty, that's for sure."

He chuckles at his own words, making me realise how dark his head had become.

"You wouldn't miss me Jimin, maybe at the beginning. But not for long, i only have been a pain to yo-"

"SHUT UP YOONGI! Shut up!"

Tears that had filled my eyes were now streaming down my face. Frustration and anger had build themselves up inside of me. I was being selfish for not taking him to the doctor, making sure he was safe. I knew i was. I couldn't fix him, but i was trying to anyways. 

"What if we do it together? Jump off of the balcony right now, hand in hand," Yoongi states, sounding more serious than ever.

"What do i have to do to make you wanna stay on this planet, to not have to deal with losing you."

"Show me what being alive feels like." 

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