Eternal Madness || The Death Cure || Minho

20 - Gone

"We're going and that's that. I say we wait a hundred years before we have another meeting to talk about stuff," Thomas decided.

He was talking about Denver. We were going to see Hans so he could get the devices out that allowed WICKED to control us. This idea was the best thing I had heard in a long time. I hated the idea of them controlling me... again. I thought of Josh a lot. He was so young and WICKED made me kill him. Not only did they take away his life, they took away any innocence I had left. Acting on my own free will is all I want. But I know that's not possible since I have the Flare. That poses another problem, how am I supposed to get inside the city?

"Good that," Minho agreed, "I'm with you."

Everyone looked at Newt and I.

"I'm a Crank," Newt growled. "Doesn't matter what I bloody think."

"Well so am I," I added, giving the blond a glare. "I want to go. I want to be free from at least one burden. But how am I supposed to get in?"

"We can get you both into the city. We'll just have to be very careful to keep you away fr-" Brenda was interrupted by Newt punching the wall behind him in a fit of rage. His eyes looked different from the last time I had seen him. They weren't just his eyes. It seemed as if someone else was inside is head and peering out. Did I look like that? I didn't feel like I did. I had moments of rage where I didn't feel like myself. But those only lasted for a moment. It was as if the Flare infected me but then vanished out of my system. I could feel my brain filling with the bugs, the I'd burst, then it was gone. Something wasn't right with me.

"First of all, it does not matter that I have this thing in my brain. I'm gonna be past the buggin' Gone before too long anyway. And I don't want to die knowing I ran around the city infecting people. I doubt you want that too, Annie."

Newt looked at me, expecting me to agree. But as I looked into the eyes of a stranger there was no way I could accept defeat. If it was Newt, really Newt, then maybe I would feel the same way he did. That wasn't my best friend. He was slipping through my fingers like sand and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"I can't stay here, Newt. You know that, I know you do," I confessed. "I can't just lay down and die."

"I thought you were my friend," Newt said, making my heart shatter.

I grabbed his hand which was already beginning to bruise. Feeling his slender fingers reminded me of the old times in the Maze. Was it bad that I wish I could go back to those times? I had learned about Newt's darkest secret and in that moment I knew we'd be friends forever. Knowing what he had already gone through made this harder to do.

"I can't stay. I'm sorry.'

Suddenly Newt wrapped his arms around me. The blond boy squeezed me tightly, almost too tight. When he pulled away, for a split second, I saw the real Newt trapped behind the troubled eyes.

"I'm staying on the Berg. You can go to the city without me," Newt said before walking away.

"That went well," Minho sighed. He stood up from his chair and followed Newt.

I stared at the carpeted floor knowing this one of the last times I was going to see the boy who made me smile. Who was my friend when I felt like I was all alone. Who showed me how life was meant to be lived. Newt showed me what it felt like to have someone in your life that would support you no matter what. To me, it felt like he was already gone.

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