Good Things

magazines & phantoms

I wake up to a burning sensation in my leg. But it's not possible. I reach down to the stump that's left and examine it to make sure everything's okay. But it hurts. Right where my knee would be. I grab a crutch and stand up. When the burning doesn't stop, I begin to get angry. I pull all the comforters off the bed. I throw the books from my bedside table. In one sweep, I clear off all of my modeling papers and headshots from atop my dresser. And I throw my crutch at the door. The loud crash resonates through the the house as I stand on one leg, smashing things left and right. I shatter a candle, rip pillows. I fall onto my bed sobbing in fits. When I kick my lamp off the table and the lightbulb shatters, Amily, Savana, and Evan come running in. They all come over silently and put their hands on my back. Evan runs his hand through my hair. He shoos them off and they leave with small pats of sympathy.
Evan picks me up and lets my head rest on his shoulder as he pulls me in like a Dad would to a three year old that hurt herself.
"Josephine listen to me," he raises my head to look into his eyes. "This is going to be hard. It will be really hard. The doctor even said so."
His words seem like more of a negative lecture than they are helpful. "We're all here. You have to let us help." I shake my head at his words. I don't want their help. I want to lay in my bed and never move. I have lost everything. My dream, my leg. Everything.
"Jo," he sighs.
"Evan I can't just let you give up your time to help me."
"I don't mind because that's what you do for people you love," he stares into my eyes relentlessly. "I love you. Yeah, I do love you. And having one less leg doesn't change that." He gets up and walks out. I stare out my window in shock. He comes back with the wheelchair and helps me into it. We go into the kitchen and he gives me Tylenol.
"I'm going to clean up in your room. Do you wanna help?" I nod.
We spend the rest of the morning picking up shards of glass and pillow stuffing. Amily and Savana join us around ten o'clock, speeding up the process immensely.
For the first time that morning, I speak positive words. "Thank you, guys. I really appreciate it. And I'm sorry."
Savana is the first to reply. "Of course," a small smile follows.
"Yeah Jo. We've always got ya," Amily reaches over and squeezes my hand.
"Oh crap. Jo I've gotta go," Evan races over and kisses my forehead before I can process what's going on.
"Okay bye!" I yell as he races out the door.
"That was weird."
"Yeah," I answer. Then I remember that Evan had to work today. At his job, when you miss a weekday, you have to make up for it on a Saturday if it isn't excused.
The girls and I finish up and go to the kitchen to grab lunch.
"There's absolutely nothing to eat," Savana complains.
"Let's go out," I suggest before thinking. "I mean I'm not hungry but we can all go to a restaurant or something."
"Okay. I'm free until later," Amily looks expectantly at Savana.
"Let's do it!" Savana yells.
15 minutes later, we're at a small diner in our town. The aesthetic colors instantly brighten my mood. A lot of people stare at me, but I just use my crutches to propel me forward.
As lunch goes on, the stares begin to aggravate me. One very familiar looking man is particularly annoying. He stares without breaks all throughout our meal, along with various others. I stand up, front and center.

"Okay everyone listen up," I yell as I prop myself up against the table. "Can a girl not get any privacy? Yes I lost my leg, no you don't need to stare. Gosh." I push away and almost slip. Savana and Amily look at me with mouths open. It only takes a few seconds for us all to burst into laughter. I look down at my hands and giggle until my sides hurt. I don't really notice when Savana and Amily go quiet. Savana clears her throat.
"Hi," a mans voice speaks, low and soft.
I look up to see Dr. Madden, the man who was staring.
"Oh. Hello." My cheeks turn rosy.
"I'm sorry for staring," he chuckles. "It's just that I've never seen a patient up and about after a procedure like yours."
"Yeah well," I shrug my shoulders awkwardly.
"I would assume. You're strong. I hope everything goes well."
"Thanks."
"Until next time then," he gives a small wave.
We all three sit in silence for a few seconds.
"That was weird," Amily breaks the silence.
"Yeah. Let's go," Savana lays down the tip.
We go home and sit in the middle of the floor. We read magazines and paint our nails. We do the things we used to do all the time, and for the first time in several days, I feel like everything will be okay.