Good Things

roses & shoes

I rub my eyes and look around. Pink and red roses litter my floor. White petals lead a trail to my closet. I grab one crutch and prop it under my left arm. Careful not to squish the roses, I go slowly to my closet. When I open it, bright lights blind me. I close my eyes and give them a chance to adjust. Hanging in front of me is a long, gold dress. The lights illuminate the sequins and every detail. It shimmers and glows. A note hangs from it.
'Dinner tonight @ 6:30. I'll pick you up. Bring one crutch only.'

I can only make it through the first half of the note before the tears come.

'I'm sorry for the way I treated you while you were in the hospital. Please let me make it up to you. We will beat these problems together I promise. I love you :)
-E'

I pick up the fabric between my fingers. It's made of a silky material and soft sequins on the outside. The color sparkles and shines. I walk around and pick up all of the roses. I grab a large vase from the kitchen and put them in it, careful not to damage them. I put the white pedals in a small glass box. I rummage through my shoes, looking for a pair that will match my new dress. Finding nothing, I get frustrated. Amily and Savana are at some makeup convention in Savana's car. No one is home to take me to buy new shoes, so I do it myself.
I snatch Amily's keys off of the hook and lock the door. Getting in the drivers side is something I have to get used to, since the accident I've only been a passenger. I use my right leg to control the pedals, like I used to. Nothing has changed. I can do it.
I arrive safe and sound at the shoe store and send up a silent thank you. People stare at me; it's hard not to see the girl with a missing leg and hollow cheeks. My collarbones could cut someone. I hurry to the heels section and scan for the perfect pair. On the 4th shelf up, a pair of golden strap sandals glisten. They're just out of my reach, so a salesman comes to help. She has blonde hair that looks extremely familiar.
"Hi. I'm Rachel. How can I assist you today?"
"I need that pair of shoes."
"Of course. I'll just be one second." She hurries off. I recognize her walk. In an instant, I'm back at Greta's, and the bubbly waitress is bustling about to get the orders taken. Rachel. The girl who was eyeing Evan the whole time.

She returns with the shoes in tow.
"Here ya go. Can I help you with anything else, like trying them on?" She looks at the spot where my shorts hang off of my stump.
"Yeah. Thanks."
"No problem."
The shoe slides on perfectly.
"Do you know Evan Gatton?" I can't help but ask.
"Yeah. We used to go to university together. He dropped out so I haven't seen him in a while but yeah. Why?"
"Oh uh. We're good friends and we went to dinner one night at Greta's. I just recognized you from there I guess," I lie.
"Oh okay. These shoes look really nice."
"Thank you. I'll take them."
"Okay. Let me go ring them up and you can meet me at the register."
I put my shoe back on and go check out. I throw my new purchase into the passenger seat and drive home.
"Oh no." I mumble to myself. Savana's car sits in the driveway. They'll know I drove. I grab the keys, my crutch, and my phone and head inside.
When Savana opens the door, her mouth falls open. She looks from me to my closed bedroom door, obviously having assumed I was in there sleeping. Amily emerges from around the kitchen corner, and furrows her eyebrows.
"Did you drive?"
"Yes."
"O. My. Gosh."
"I'm sorry. I just didn't want to bother you to come pick me up."
"Was it scary," Savana puts a hand on Amily's shoulder, trying to calm her down.
"Yeah. At the beginning."
"Wow. You've got guts," Savana hugs me while Amily sulks. "I'm glad you're safe."
We all hug and go back to what we're doing. By the time I finish the meal the doctors told me to eat, the clock reads 4:30 pm. Two hours to get ready.

When I get out of the shower, I put on a robe. I wouldn't dare to get makeup on the new dress. I finish my makeup and put on my high heel to practice walking with the crutch. In the middle of my practice, I get a text.
"I heard you got new shoes, bring the other one along too. I've got a rig for it."
A rig? Evan follows that text with a smiley face. I laugh a little at how strange he is, and walk to my closet to put on my dress. It still glitters and gleams in the new lights. I grab it off of the hanger and put it on. It falls perfectly, except for the neckline, which runs a little low and exposes my collarbones and the middle of my ribs.

When the doorbell rings, I grab the other shoe, one crutch, and my purse. Evan stands at my door, white button down shirt folded to the elbow and black dress pants.
"You look beautiful. My God. Breathtaking."
"Thank you," I smile. "This dress is amazing."
"I knew you'd like it. Sit on the couch."
"I thought we were going out."
"We are. Just sit for a second."
He walks out in the hallway and comes back with a tall, gift wrapped box.
"For you, my love," he gestures to the box as he places it in front of me.
I reach out in front of me and tear the awful attempt at gift wrapping. A tall box is what's left. Scared to open it, I hold Evan's hand.
"Listen, before you open it. I feel awful for the way I treated you while you were in the hospital. You know I love you, but it's all a lot for me to handle. I never want to see you hurt, and I felt like I was a bad boyfriend for not noticing how bad it was getting. I didn't want to see you there in that bed. I almost lost you the first time, and I didn't want to come to terms with the fact that I almost lost you a second time. I still feel awful, but I wanted to make it up to you."
"I'm so sorry Ev. I didn't know you felt that way. It was under control and after the accident I just lost the will to get better. But I promise I'm trying. I need your help though. I think about food. That's a lot of what I think about. Food and you. And if I can have you, I don't need to worry about the calories and the workouts. I'm happy with us. Please help me, and always, always tell me how you're feeling. I love you."
He smiles and kisses me.
"Open it."
I tear open the box the reveal a half skin colored, half metal hybrid. I'm confused at first, but as I pull it out of the box, I become aware of what it is.
"MY PROSTHETIC!!" I yell.
"Yes! Put it on put it on put it on!"
"Okay ok." I lift up my dress a little, and push the leg into place. The straps are confusing, but Evan shows me how to strap it around my waist and hold it into place.
"It's perfect!"
"I'm so glad."
"Can I stand?"
"Yeah but the doctor said it'll be a little uncomfortable for the first time you wear it. That's why we're bringing your crutch."
I nod and stand up. I wobble a little and fall back into the couch.
"How does it feel? Oh I know. Here."
He grabs the shoe and puts it on my prosthetic foot. I try standing again, with more success this time. Small wobbles almost take me down, but Evan walks close to me.
"I'm ready to go," I say confidently.
"Then let's head out."