Good Things

donuts & cars

As I pull up to the driveway, I notice a strange car parked at my neighbors house. They're out of town, so I decide to make sure that no one is up to trouble. The house is secure and I head back to my front door. Excited to see Evan, I fumble with the key, making a lot of noise. It finally opens and I step inside. The door closes loudly and I hear a murmur from my room. I hang my keys on the hook quietly and lean closer to my room. The murmurs stop, whoever is there must be listening for me. I take baby steps, trying my hardest not to let them hear me. I scoot closer and closer. My crutch slips and I nearly fall. The murmurs begin again, and I can tell there are two or more people in there. Twisting the handle, I prepare for the worst.
On the bed sits Savana and Evan. Savana is fully clothed, Evan in just his night shorts.
"Hey!" Savana is overly bubbly. She looks nervous and awkward.
"Hi, um what's going on?" I kick myself for being so blunt.
"Nothing. We're just watching a movie."
"Oh. Well. Carry on. But Sav, why are you here?"
"I was getting the last few clothes out of Amily's old room. She left some things she didn't want in there and said I could have them. But I heard the movie and decided to hang. I actually should get back to work," she pushes herself from the bed.
"Ok. See ya."
I watch her leave and pull the sheets back to lay down.

Much to my surprise, I find something I wasn't expecting.

"Is this a joke?" I say as I lift the bra from my sheets.
"What?"
"Savana! Get in here!" Rage courses through my body. Savana hurries in.
"What's the problem?" Her innocence seems to prove her even more guilty.
"This is the problem! What the hell Evan?"
"That's yours. Chill out."
"No. It's not mine," I reach to my dirty clothes basket and grab one of my bras. It easily could fit inside the bra six times. "Not mine. Explain."
Savana looks awkwardly out the window.
"Savana?"
"I didn't. I swear. It's not mine. I'm fully dressed."
A million possibilities run through my head. I didn't own a bra like this, but there was no explanation for its appearance.
"Whatever. Evan get out."
"No. Josephine I swear. I'm not leaving."
"EVAN GET OUT!" I scream. He scrambles from under the covers and grabs his shirt from my floor. Savana follows him out and the door slams. Once I'm sure they're gone, I collapse onto the bed. Tears flow and flow down my face.

These past few months have been up and down. And Evan has been the key focus of it. He taught me that no matter what I looked like, he'd love me. He's been there for me, and I never trust him. Evan is the most intriguing human I've met, fun, smart, and kind. And I blamed him for something unexplainable. There is no reason the bra should be there, but it may have just been a silly mishap.

I sit there, thinking, for hours and hours before acknowledging the hunger pains in my stomach. I get my crutch and push myself to the kitchen. A recipe for Amily's signature spaghetti sits on the counter, along with various other recipes. Donuts, pecan pie, smoothies. A small note near them reads:

I know you've never been great at cooking, but now you can learn :)
-Amily <3

I laugh out loud, alone in my kitchen, truly feeling like I've lost my mind. As I sit in front of the tv eating my grilled cheese, I try to think of things I can do to apologize to Evan. My mind wanders to the last good day I had with Evan. We went to a donut shop, and he yelled his love for chocolate donuts while everyone stared at him. He ate six donuts and didn't regret it one bit.
'I messed up so bad. But would this happen if he was living with me?' I wonder.

I know what I have to do.