Gaining Courage: The Search for the Lost Keys (a Fairytail Galu story)

Chapter Five: Saying Goodbye

Lucy POV:

I couldn't believe I'd done it. Gripping on to the second floor balcony rail I tried to stop hyperventilating. They said yes, I honestly hadn't expected them to give me permission to try at least not without more of a fight. Taking a deep breath in I forced myself into control knowing I couldn't break down not in the middle of the guild hall.

"Lushie he's trying to eat me!"

Bracing for impact I had a second before Happy crash landed on my chest, rocking me back a step. Quickly getting my head in the game I glanced down into the guild in the direction Happy had come from as I saw the usual guild brawl and Eric looking in this direction with a scowl on his face. Knowing that could only mean trouble I had a fair idea of what had happened. Glancing down at the cowering exceed I tried to keep the smile off my face as I asked the question.

"What did you do Happy?"

Crying out again he took off into the guild rafters sobbing in fake fear as Eric stormed up the stairs growling as he came.

"Darn right I'm gonna eat him, with a sprinkling of wormwood for flavour roasted over an open fire."

I couldn't help the small smile that appeared as Eric made it to the second floor. I didn't even have to look to know Happy had shrieked again and zoomed off to hide. Guild craziness just like always.

"O.K. Bright Eyes spill it."

I didn't have to look at him to know what he meant as he settled himself next to me at the railing completely ignoring Happy's disappearing act. It was a pain in the butt to have a soul listener as one of your best friends. It was the reason I had been dodging him for the last week.

"And don't think I didn't notice that. If Macbeth hadn't been having a b'tchfest about Freed not loving doggy style I would have been on your ass sooner. Did you honestly think you'd get away without saying goodbye?"

Honestly I'd hoped that I'd never have to do this. Turning my back to the guild I looked him in the eye as I answered his last statement trying to ignore the hint of sadness I'd heard in the question.

"Saying goodbye isn't the hard part anymore, it's walking out the door that hurts."

For the first time in a long time I could see fear in his good eye. Reaching out slowly since I knew how he felt about personal space, I grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"It's not like you're gonna miss me or anything right. You hate everything about this guild and threaten to poison everyone in it on a daily basis."

Huffing and dragging me closer he gave me what amounted to a Cobra one armed hug.

"Watch your back Bright Eyes don't make me come after you."

With that he let go and quickly stomped back downstairs and threw himself into the still going strong brawl. It was what I loved best about that man he didn't waste his words. That had been the Cobra equivalent of a four star parade and a confession of undying love. Shaking loose the melancholy, I took a good long look around the guild hall. The boys were having fun fighting and shouting insults. Erza and Jellel were talking with Wendy and Carla sharing the expected strawberry cake. The more I looked the more people I called family appeared. The Thunder Legion were sat in the corner: Bixlow and Lissana were busy teasing Evergreen while Macbeth watched them half sleeping in Freed's lap. Mirajane and Kinana were moving easily through the throngs of people stopping here and there to fill orders and chat. All of a sudden I was hit by the overwhelming feeling of loss, how was I going to live without these people. Then I saw him, standing tall in the middle of the chaos. His trademark scarf present and heart stopping grin appearing.

"Come at me you bunch of losers, I'm all fired up now."

Even before he'd finished talking Natsu was jumped by half the guild each trying to be the one to take him down. I felt my heart freeze for a moment and knew I had to go. Even without Aquarius being missing I could no longer stay here. There were too many memories and people that I just wasn't ready to face. Every morning was the same if it wasn't her face it was his. I couldn't take it anymore, being close but having lost what made 'us' special. He couldn't look at me the same way anymore and I missed it, I missed it like one would miss their own eyes. The world wasn't as bright without his smile, joy wasn't as fulfilling without his laugh, my name no long fell from his lips with ease, Luce didn't exist anymore and all of it was slowly killing me inside. Knowing the longer I took the harder it would be, I quickly moved down the stairs and walked straight out the main doors not stopping or saying goodbye to anyone. My eyes strayed at the last moment and connected with his only to see something that almost broke me anew, regret and shame. Tearing them away I made my feet move faster into the town holding in the sorrow as best I could.

I forced myself to keep walking as I passed shops and homes some I recognised others newly rebuilt. My feet took me on a familiar route past my old apartment where my FairyTail life had first begun. Pushing back the memories I didn't stop moving until my feet hit the train station steps, then I waited knowing she would be here soon. I'd had it all planned out even if the Masters hadn't approved the request. My bags were all packed and in the spirit world. The research for both missions was already started and I knew what my first stop would be. I ran through my mental list once more time ticking off everything I had to do. The note I'd left in my room should explain everything even if leaving this way was reminiscent of what happened to me during the guild disbandment. I leaned against the wall closing my eyes not wanting to see anybody or anything trying to force the thoughts of my family's reaction to me leaving out of my head. I knew I was holding myself together with thin string at the moment and anything could set me off. I couldn't afford to cry at least not yet. Suddenly I heard the voice I'd been waiting for. Opening my eyes I looked up into a face that was filled half with hatred half with longing.

"Hello Brandish, thank you for coming."

Huffing she glared at me as she stopped a few metres away. She leaned back and started tapping her foot looking like she would rather be anywhere but here. She still looked the same even after all these months. I had known she had come back to town after going home for a time. I guess Alvarez wasn't what she was looking for. Knowing I didn't have a lot of time or her patience I got straight to the point.

"I need a favour from you."

She opened her mouth as though to argue but I beat her too it knowing if I let her talk we would be there all day.

"I know you don't like me but please just hear me out. I have to leave to find Aquarius, you know this I know this there isn't an option for me. My family, I can't risk losing them again so I want your word that you'll watch out for them. I know you don't have a home anymore so I wanted to invite you to stay at mine. I'll be gone for a while and the rent's all paid up for the next few months so I just thought."

I stopped because now I knew I was coming to the part that hurt more than most; the part that if I let it would really tear me up inside.

"Brandish, take care of yourself alright and watch out for Natsu for me, he won't take me leaving very well especially without saying goodbye. Tell him I couldn't say it not to him not after..."

Pushing back the tears I heard the train whistle signalling departure. Reaching down I unhooked my room key and threw it to her. Catching it she looked confused down into her hand.

"I wish I could stay and help you become part of this family I know that you'll fit right in."

Before she could stop me I reached out and dragged her into a hug. I squeezed her once then let go and hurried across the station not looking back. Walking quickly I pulled myself onto the train and finally turned back to see Brandish still standing there not saying a thing looking down at the key I'd given her. I didn't know whether she'd honour my request or not but I had to try. I watched from the doorway as the train started to depart leaving behind my family once again. As Magnolia got smaller I finally realised that I wasn't going to see home for a very long time. I didn't try stopping the tears as they fell. I felt my heart break once again only this time it had been my choice. Stealing my resolve I let the sobs come knowing that this was only the start of my journey and it was surely going to get worse before it got better.