Change Me [Jastin]

Chapter 27

I ran upstairs passing Tori, and Tyler. Shutting the door as I went into my room then turned the light on and stood in front of a mirror.
I stared at the bruises all over my face as I ran my fingers down the bruises.
Tears streaming down my cheeks..

How could he do this to me? I loved him.. I grabbed a blade from the bathroom then lifted up my sleeve revealing scars from those times that I had harmed myself when Jason wasn't around, pressing the blade against my skin as I harmed myself some more.

I heard a knock at the door, "Justin.. Are you okay?" I heard Tori ask, "G-go away" I sobbed "what happened?" I heard her ask "Nothing!" I cried then heard my phone, I grabbed it seeing that it was Jason, I declined the call then continued sobbing myself to sleep.

--

The next day, I had awakened with the memories of last night. I lied in bed and groaned then began crying.. Again..

Interrupted as I heard a knock at the door, "It's Ari," "and Milton," "and Briana" I heard then groaned "Fuck off" I said. "What the hell is wrong with you Justin? What happened?" Milton asked. "None of your business!" I sobbed. "Justin you do know I have the spare key"
I heard Milton say "don't even bother" I cried then heard him unlock the door. And he bothered..

I looked up at my friends as they gasped, "Wow Justin!" Briana said
"WHAT HAPPENED?" Milton asked, "Justin.. Are you okay?" Tori asked, "I can't believe it... He did it.. Again..the fourth time" Ari said then clenched his fist. "Who?!" Milton asked, I looked at everyone blankly. "Well Justin! Who?!" he spat, "Aren't you gonna tell them who's been hurting you?! Who's been abusing you?!" Ari hissed. "Abusing? Don't tell me it was..." Briana had a shocked expression on her face and so did everyone else.

"Jason did this?!" Milton asked, I nodded my head slowly then sighed. "And the last time too.. He did that?" Briana asked, I just nodded and looked down,
"Okay where is he?" Tori asked
"N-no.. Tori.. It's okay-" "No it's not Justin! He's hurting you!" "You need to tell someone.. Call the pol--" "No!" I cut off "Ari! Don't let them!" I said.

"I'm sorry Justin but.. I'm on their side with this one" Ari said, "b-but Jason's your Bestfriend!" I said.
"And lately he's been getting on my fucking nerves. He wasn't only just abusing you.. When you guys were on break... He abused other people too.." Ari said making me cry more. "That jerk" Briana said then rolled her eyes.

"It was my fault.. Okay? He had the rights" I said, "Do you even hear yourself?" Tori said, "You didn't deserve this Justin" Milton said.

"Yes I did!" I said "no you didn't Justin!" Ari shouted then sighed trying to calm down, "If you don't leave him I'm done Justin.. I'm done being your friend" Ari said, "No.. Ari.. Don't make me choose" I said, "I'm sorry Justin.." He said then left.

"I'm done too" I heard Tori say, "Tori please" I said then grabbed her wrist, "Sorry Justin" she said then pulled her arm away and left.
"I'm going to go too" I heard Milton say. "W-what? No! Milton!" I said, "I hope you make the right decisions Justin" Milton gave me a small smile before leaving.

"You still have me" I heard Briana say, I gave her a weak smile then looked down. "Everything's going to be fine Justin" she said as she hugged me tightly, I hugged her back then looked at Tyler who was standing by the doorway, looking upset. Not only because Tori left but also because Jason did this to me and Tyler really liked Jason and thought he was a good person.

--

Briana and I talked all day, but since my mom had left to work Briana decided to pick up some take out and took Tyler because I was too upset to watch him.

I heard a knock at the door and got up and opened the door seeing "Jason" I gulped. "Justin.. I'm so sorry.. I'm sorry I hurt you.. I love you so much" he said then kissed me, I pulled away and stepped back "N-no!" I said.
"Please Justin.. I love you so much.." Jason said making tears form into my eyes.

"Please Justin" Jason said then kissed me again.. This time I didn't pull away.. I kissed him back.. I felt Jason smile against my lips making me shiver..

Why don't I feel any butterflies?

"I love you" Jason said as he cupped my cheeks, "I love you too" I said gave him a small smile.

"I should head out, I got plans..I'll see you later, okay?" Jason said, I nodded my head then he kissed my cheek before leaving.

"Hey" I heard Briana say, "Uh hi" I said "I got McDonalds" she said "thanks" I said as I grabbed the bag and looked down.

--

Later after Briana left I lied in bed waiting for Jason. How long is he going to be gone? One thing I probably should of asked him..

To be honest, half of me doesn't even want to see Jason because I'm scared of him now. Even if we had sex I'd be way too terrified to do it because what if he hits me? again.. I heard a knock at the door, and opened it seeing Jason with a black eye.

"Oh my god Jason are you o-okay?" I asked then tried to grab him, "Don't you fucking touch me" he hissed then pushed me roughly making me fall on the ground.
Jason sat on my bed taking his leather jacket off, I groaned in pain then stood up on my feet.

"I was just trying to help!" I said, "Sending your friends out on me Justin, really?" Jason said "what the hell are you talking about?" I asked. "Fucking Tori, Milton, and Ari jumped me on my way here.. What did you tell them?!" Justin pushed me against the wall then wrapped his hands around my neck. I coughed trying to breathe "J-Jason! L-let g-go" I muttered then he choked me harder making tears form in my eyes. Jason let go then I fell on the ground and caught my breath.

I breathed heavily then cried into my hands, "don't cry" Jason said.
I continued sobbing and heard him sigh as he sat next to me, Jason hugged me tightly then kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry baby" he said then I pushed him away and got up. "Don't fucking touch me!" I cried then faced the wall and cried.
"Justin--" "No!" I cried "Justin.. Help me.. I don't wanna be this way.. "

"Change Me."

Jason said then grabbed my waist and looked into my eyes, I looked down and sighed "Go" I said then opened the door, "Justin-" "GO!" I cut off.

>>Jason McCann<<

I let out a sad sigh then walked down the stairs to see Tyler on the couch.

"See ya little guy" I said, Tyler looked at me with a sad expression "What's wrong?" I asked, "You hit my brother.. I don't like you anymore," and I swear I felt my heart drop.

--

I ran my fingers through my hair as I walked in the alleyway.

I looked at the graffiti Justin and I wrote then drank another can of beer. How could he.. Why is he doing this to me? Making me feel this way.. Why can't Justin see how much I love him? I can't help how I feel or what I do..

My anxiety and bipolar disorder is getting worse especially my anger issues also. I'm getting him back.. No matter what..

___________________________

I get so mad at myself when writing this lol.