Model in Disguise

Chapter 28

James and I haven't spent that much time together lately. Ever since the accident at the beach he has looked at things differently and been more afraid of some one dying. If he saw a man eating and then start to cough he would think the man was choking.

"I herd about what happened on the beach! That must have been so scary!" Abbi said as I was shutting my locker and heading to class.

"yeah James isn't taking it well... We have barley talked at all Since it happened. He thinks it's his fault that he died." I explained

"oh... Well maybe he will realize its not his fault soon." Kay said

"yeah.. I really don't want to talk about it." we walked into homeroom. I sat down in my usual spot and shortly after James came in and sat next to me. He forced a smile. I smiled politely back.

Our teacher came in and started to teach. I completely ignored him and just kept worrying about James.

When class was over James raced out even looking at me. Something is wrong. I chased after him. He stopped at his locker to get his books, he was about to race off again but I grabbed his arm and pulled him into the nearest closet.

"ok something is wrong this isnt about the accident that happened anymore. What's wrong." I looked him directly in his eyes but he was looking everywhere but my eyes. "James please talk to me."

This is when he looked me in the eyes. " I cheated." the words hit me hard. It was like a knife piercing my heart.

"whhat?" my voice came out shaky

"me and some random girl from a club had sex." his words came out hard and bitterly. it was like he was ripping my heart out and tearing it to pieces in my face. I tried to think of an explanation but nothing came up.

"why? Why would you do that to me?" tears were coming out by now

"because I herd about what you told Tyler! How could you do that to me! I always did everything you wanted! You don't even love me do you!" he was hurt and I could tell. I felt really bad.

I paused for a second and thought about it before I answered. My pause gave him his answer.

"that's why I cheated on you! You lied to me and it hurt! I actually fell for your little act! I thought you loved me but it was just a little game." he walked around me and left.

************

"here girly. Ice cream and chocolate always makes me feel better. Just don't tell your momma I gave it to you." Lucy handed me a bowl. I was laying In my bed and I was miserable. Lucy knew that so she has been trying to cheer me up.

At first I was feeling bad for myself but then I realized how much I hurt James and started to feel terrible about how I hurt him. I deserved every bit of what he did. But in all that I realized I can't force myself to love someone. And I was forcing myself to love James. When really I loved Tyler. But I doubt Tyler loves me now and there is no chance for James. Somehow I always seem to mess something up. I always seem to be in some kind of trouble.

"thanks Lucy." I said sitting up a little

"no problem and someone is here to see you." she told me " I'll just tell them to come up."

I nodded

A few minutes later Carrie came up. I sat strait up and tried to look presentable.

"oh hi Faith, is this a bad time.. No ok good." she said without letting me answer "ok listen tomorrow we will be setting up cameras and having people start to follow you around. Kay? Good." then she got up and left. I sat back and thought about how much my life is going to change after tomorrow. I will have absolutely no privacy. And in a couple months when the show airs everyone Will know my secret. And everyone will start to treat me different. Everybody all over the world will see it every time I kiss a guy or every time I get dumped. I guess I can't cheat on my diet anymore. Life is just going to be so different.

I sat back and thought about everything I would be loosening for this show. Then I thought 'is this worth it?'

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Ok what do you think. Is it worth it?