Porcelain

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Much later into the night, everyone was drunk. Including me.

To make myself seem cooler and so George, Ross and Adam would still want me around, I continued to drink.

Everything I was worried about seemed to not matter anymore. My father was no longer a problem for me. He was out of my life, and that's all that mattered. I didn't care about where I was going to go after this was all over, I'd figure it out. I survived 11 years of mental and physical abuse from my father, I could do anything.

Going to take another drink out of my cup, I realized that it was empty and excused myself to get more.

"I'll be right back. My cup's empty."

I stumbled into the kitchen and found a bottle of vodka, pouring as much as possible into my cup, then leaving just like I came in. Squeezing my way through people, I bumped into someone trying to go back over to George, Adam and Ross, and spilled some of my drink onto the floor.

"Oh, sorry Hayley." They laughed.

I looked up to see Ivy, a girl George had introduced me to after I had a few drinks.

She had caramel colored skin with a big afro of hair. She was gorgeous and sweet. She had all the perks.

"S'alright" I slurred, giggling a bit. "I'm just tryin' to get back to my boys"

She laughed.

"How much have you had to drink?"

I tried to count on my fingers how many cups I had.

"Four?" I said, holding up four fingers.

"More like four bottles. I've seen you get up at least 6 times."

I shrugged and continued scooting my way towards the boys.

"Hey guys!" I said loudly, waving my arm obnoxiously at them.

They laughed and waved back as I sat down next to Adam.

"You guys are my best friends." I laughed, throwing my arm around Adam.

"Jesus, George, how much has she had to drink? She's completely fucking hammered!" Ross said, watching me as I drank the rest of what was in my cup.

"I don't know! I haven't been keeping track!"

I set my cup down on the floor next to me and looked around the room, watching people I've never met before dance and talk to each other from across the room. I stopped as I found another pair of eyes staring back at me from across the room.

He had curly brown hair that was shaved on the sides, and from what I could tell, he was dressed in all black. A cigarette hung between his fingers, and he brought it up to his mouth, taking a drag and blowing out the smoke, still looking at me.

He was gorgeous.

I looked away and awkwardly toyed with the ends of my shirt, glancing at him from the corner of my eye. My heart was pounding.

Why was he looking at me? And why is he so hot?

"I see you've found Matty." A voice said from beside me.

I jumped and turned to them, not noticing that Ivy had sat down next to me.

"Oh ,uh, yeah."

I looked at him again. He was still looking at me.

"He's been watching you for since you sat down. I think he likes you."

I scoffed.

"Me? He doesn't even know me. We've never spoken to each other."

"Yeah, but he wants to know you. Or at least know you well enough to get into your pants."

She stood up from beside me and walked into the crowd, leaving me alone with my brain to think about what she said.

"He wants to know you."

My stomach started to get a bubbly feeling, and I stood from my seat and ran upstairs as fast as I could to find a bathroom.

Pushing open every door I came across, I ran into the toilet and the contents of my stomach was emptied into the porcelain bowl. I was sick a few times more, and laid my head on my arms, folded on top of the seat.

"First time?" A voice startled me from the doorway.

I looked up to see the boy that was staring at me from across the room- I believe his name was Matty- leaning on the doorframe.

"How'd you know?" I asked, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand.

He chuckled.

"From how flamboyant you were acting, it was a lucky guess."

I half-heartedly laughed and mentally cursed myself.

Of course I'm that kind of drunk. I bet I was obnoxious. At least I'm not like my father.

We sat in a silence for a moment, not sure of what to say.

"I'm Matty." He introduced, offering me his hand up.

I took it and he pulled me from the floor, using the counter to gain my balance.

"Hayley." I smiled back, letting go of his hand.

We started to walk further down the hall, towards a balcony near the back of the house.

"So, you're a friend of George's?" He asked.

"Well, sort of. We met on the train here and he invited me to this party. I had nothing else to do, so I agreed." I explained.

He nodded as a way of saying, "I see".

We walked out onto the porch and sat down on metal chairs that were on opposite sides of the door. You could only see into the neighboring houses backyards, but it was still nice to be away from the loud music and swarming drunk people.

"How do you know George?" I asked, watching him as he lit a cigarette.

He took a drag and blew out the smoke, disappearing in front of me.

"He's my best friend. So are Adam and Ross. We've known each other for ages."

I nodded, staring up at the dark sky.

I had sobered up a lot since I was sick. My mind was functioning much better than it was before, at least. I couldn't stay focused on one thing for more than 30 seconds unless it was getting more alcohol.

"You know, alcohol isn't all that good. It usually tastes awful and the only thing it's good for is fucking you up. It does a great job of that." Matty laughed, blowing smoke out of his mouth.

"I've never had anything before tonight. Not even the smallest bit when I was younger or anything. I haven't had great experiences with it" I said, suddenly feeling dumb for sounding so innocent and naive.

Not that I wasn't.

"Really?" He questioned, looking at me with surprise. "Not even a sip off your parents' when they weren't looking?"

I shook my head.

"Nothing."

"Wow." He said, looking down into the backyard where someone was passed out in the grass. "That's crazy to me. I've been drinking for years. I don't like liquor much. I'm more a a wine person."

Years? How old is he? Or has he been drinking since he was young?

"How is wine different?" I asked.

"Well, it's not so harsh. It doesn't get you hammered nearly as easily either. It's kind of bitter, but also sweet. You should try it sometime."

I nodded my head, trying to imagine what wine tasted like.


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