Whirlwind

7

[Riley]

Messages

Les 2:15 am
Ry, I'm worried about you. You left without a word. Donovan said he called but you won't answer...just let us know you're okay.

Dame 2:20 am
Answer the damn phone, Riley. This shit ain't funny.

Dame 2:23 am
Riley...

I exited from my home screen as text after text continued to spill in. I wasn't in the mood to speak to anyone. Actually, I couldn't even explain my mood. I was somewhere between pissed, dejected, anxious and solemn. I should be familiar with experiencing these abrupt highs and lows and the out of body reactions to them, but not tonight's highs. Just the touch of his fingers on my skin, and the sound of that voice stirred up all these emotions that I had learned to shelter all too well. It wasn't well enough apparently.

After all this time he still held that power over me, he knew that simply being in my space and breathing my air would get to me. As much as I believed I had moved past that part of my life, tonight proved I only fooled myself of my progression as I did with everyone else.

At this moment I didn't want to think about what should have been a celebration night. I didn't want to think about this man or the small conversation we held and what it was doing to me. Contrary to that, those exact thoughts were what exhausted me and eventually put me to sleep.

———

I'm not sure how long I was asleep but it didn't take long for the constant banging against my front door to wake me up. With my eyes barely open and a cloud of disorientation taking over me, I tossed my legs over the edge of my bed hoping once I got there I could put a halt to the ruckus being heard.

I had already made it up in my head who it was. Probably because I heard his baritone voice bellowing, what I assumed were complaints, first. I figured it would come to this but damn, he could of just used the spare key or something. That would have been more respectful to myself and the rich white folks who neighbored me.

Last thing I needed was them complaining about the black girl next door and her loud ass associates.

"Yo you wanna let people know your ass is alive? We almost put a missing person's report out on you!"

"Can you please refrain from the yelling?" I mumbled as I walked back to room, groaning at the sound of his heavy Timberland boots trudging behind me.

"Besides, you all didn't look hard enough if that key is still hiding in the casing. Tell me which one of you geniuses swore I was anywhere but here?" I was now stretched across my bed and grabbing my phone to check the time. Instead there were almost an additional ten text message alerts on my home screen from Leslie, Donovan and Dame himself.

"Nah, I'm gonna yell since you thought it was cute to leave a club late at night and by yourself without telling anybody. As far as that key, you moved it remember? This is New York Riley, do you know what the fuck could've happened to you?"

"I'm alive aren't I?!" I tossed my phone back onto the pillow and stood up, only to fall back down. The amount of shots I took last night were bound to catch up with me, I was just wishing I could stand up again and compose myself before they did. In under five minutes I had walked from the front door and back but now, now they were kicking in.

This sudden headache seemed to become more and more overwhelming as my cousin kept harassing me about my behavior. I knew I was wrong for not communicating with anyone about my abrupt departure but at that moment I cared less about their worries. None of them could understand the tumult in Lamarr and I's conversation let alone the relationship. Everyone just knew when it came to the two of us or even discussion of us, it was best to never bring it up or keep it short. Last night when he walked into our section we all knew the encounter, the dreaded reunion of the two of us, would happen, but no one but myself knew how difficult things would be after.