Whirlwind

Alternate Ending

I gripped onto Nazanin's manicured hand that danced around my head of loose curls, primping them up and pinning them back with the custom rose quartz headpiece she gifted to me. Her perfectly shaped brows furrowed as she froze, stared back at me in the mirror and regarded my lashes that fluttered as I looked away and slowly but surely released her hand to stare down at my own. They were now folded in my lap but shaking as I tried to unravel my nerves that had tangled themselves into a hard knot in the pit of my stomach. I felt queasy, my mouth was dry and despite the air blasting from the vents inside my room, there were beads of sweat sprouting like horns from my forehead due to the internal heat surging through my body. I was terrified, anxious and many other emotions that words simply could not characterize.

"Oh boy," Nazanin mumbled after a silent moment. I closed my eyes and sighed as my hand's grip around the other tightened. "Talk to me, mama."

"Do you think I'm crazy for doing this?" I questioned lowly. "I mean, this is a bad idea, right?"

"I don't understand."

I groaned, raising my head up to lock eyes with her. The smirk on Nazanin's face let me know that she knew exactly what I was referring to. "You make me sick, you know?"

"That's my job as one of your closest friends. Now, continue." she ushered on with a nod.

"Don't you think it's quite ridiculous to ask over a dozen of people to fly down to Jamaica in the middle of hurricane season to watch me walk across some sand?"

Nazanin chuckled. "That is not what you're doing."

"Yes, yes it is."                                 

"You invited us here to watch you walk across sand, yes," she paused then shrugged before she carried on. "but to marry your twin flame. The one and only person you were destined to evolve with, to do life with. You should be excited right now."

"I'm just afraid this will be the last straw for us," I admitted. "There is always something happening that tests our bond beyond measures we didn't even know existed. I almost bled out on the table and died giving premature birth. Lamarr and I held our baby girl for what we thought would be the first and last time. Marriage might just ruin us. Maybe this is a mistake. We're fine just the way we are."

"Riley," Nazanin breathed out and placed her palms on my shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. "You and Lamarr have been engaged a little over three years now. Mirielle is healthy, so healthy she'll be three soon. And may I add that I have never seen you happier and in love than you are now. You both grew so much separately and together when she was born and it strengthened you all, if anything. Spiritually and emotionally, I've never witnessed a couple who are as aligned as you two are. You can and will survive marriage, together."

"You're only saying that because you're married."

"You're right. I'm caught!" she joked and threw her head back, making my face fell flat.

I rolled my eyes, standing up from the bar stool and walked over to the closet where a white satin ruched spaghetti strap gown hung loosely from its door. I smiled to myself as I ran my fingertips along the smooth fabric, remembering the first time I felt it against my bare skin. It was on my birthday to be exact. I was back on the east coast for a business trip and already had a dress stored away in Los Angeles that I swore was the dress. It was long sleeve lace, mermaid style with a bit of tail and honestly more suited for an indoor ceremony. It was also the only dress amongst hundreds of others that I actually cared for, which is the main reason I was compelled to soon claim it as my own and purchase it. I believed it was my only option since time was quickly winding down too. Despite all of that I knew something was missing, and it wasn't until Leslie and I went on a random shopping spree in Brooklyn and my eyes fell on this satin gown that I knew what it was.