Broken Strings

C H A P T E R E L E V E N

"It was a question I had worn on my lips for days- like a loose thread on my favorite sweater I couldn't resist pulling- despite knowing it could unravel around me.

'Do you love me?' I ask.

In your hesitation, I found my answer."

- Lang Leav

▼▲▼▲▼ ▼▲▼▲▼ ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

Sebastian rushed back to Anisha as she stood grabbing her stomach. He gently wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to a secluded corner. She was extremely pale.

And he was scared. Because he knew, better than anyone, how much she was suffering. And he also knew there was nothing he could do to help her.

Because he had already tried everything. And nothing had worked.

She tried to pull away; she didn't want anyone to see what was wrong with her. Sebastian would make a big deal about it and she didn't want the attention. She didn't want anyone to know what was wrong with her.

She had kept it hidden for so long. But she also knew it was only a matter of time before Andrew found out.

Secrets and lies can't be hidden forever.

Especially one as big and cruel as the one she was currently hiding.

"I'm fine." She didn't know if she was trying to convince herself or Sebastian. Maybe if she kept telling everyone that then everything really would be fine.

But she could pretend. And she did pretend, all the time. But things were always far from fine.

"Fuck Anisha. I know you're not. Just drop the act. Did you or did you not take the pills I prescribed?" She could feel the anger laced in his words. And the disappointment. After all, how had she been so careless to forget to take the two pills that were keeping her alive and breathing?

But she didn't really care anymore.

She was tired. And she wanted nothing more than to just sleep. To just sleep and never have to wake up again.

Because she just didn't really care about anything anymore. And for the first time, she realized what it felt like to be empty. To be empty and feel nothing. Because she didn't feel anything. She felt absolutely nothing.

Nothing could make her smile. Nothing could make her happy. And nothing could make her cry. Because all she felt was nothing.

The fact that her husband would be sleeping in his mistress's bed tonight didn't bother her. The sadness that her son hadn't told her about his last soccer game tomorrow night didn't bother her. And the hope that her daughter brought her, that maybe, just maybe Anisha really could be happy, was no longer enough to save her.

Hell, it had never been enough to save her. But it had been enough to at least try.

But now she didn't want to even try anymore.

She just wanted it to stop. She just wanted to give up.

She looked up at Sebastian with tears in her eyes, begging for him to make it stop. She begged for him to tell her that it was okay to stop trying. That she could just let go. Once and for all.

She wanted him to stop forcing her to try and fight. She wanted him to stop giving her hope that she should try and fight for another day to live. Because it was hard to fight.

And all that false hope had done nothing but give her disappointment after disappointment every time.

She just didn't want to fight anymore.