Broken Strings

C H A P T E R T W E L V E

"She wore a thousand faces
all to hide her own."

- atticus

▼▲▼▲▼ ▼▲▼▲▼ ▼▲▼▲▼▲▼▲▼

Amanda Lewis always knew one thing for certain. And that was love didn't last.

Because if love really did last forever, then her parents wouldn't have gotten divorced. And her father, he wouldn't have walked out with a suitcase in his hands and told her he was going to be living in a different house.

Because if love really did last, then how could her father have fallen out of love with her mother and instead fallen in love with someone else.

It was all because love didn't really last forever.

And so from a very young age, Amanda promised herself to never fall in love.

Because in some ways, love made people weak. And Amanda didn't want to be weak.

But right now, she was. She fucking was.

Because he hadn't said a single word. And she wanted him to say something, to say anything.

She wanted him to say it was her he wanted. That he wanted her, not his wife.

She watched as he continued to stare at her step-sister's card, casually waving the card back and forth in his hands.

"You know I can't." And there wasn't a single hint of regret in his voice. There wasn't a single hint of care in his voice. There wasn't a single emotion in his voice. Instead, it was the same cold and emotionless voice he often used during business meetings.

And for some reason, she felt like he was making a business deal instead of telling her who he loved. Because he was acting like he didn't care. He was acting like she hadn't just confessed how she really felt. Like she hadn't told him how she truly felt about him. And what she really wanted.

Because what she wanted was what she had always desired while growing up. Because a family was the one thing she had always wanted. And she still wanted that. She wanted a family. A family, with him.

"You can't or you won't?" And her voice wavered slightly. Because she just wanted to know who he wanted. And who he loved.

Because the last thing Amanda wanted was a broken heart.

And she had never planned to get her heart broken. Because falling in love was always out of question.

From the very start, he had made it clear he wasn't looking for love. He just wanted someone to share his bed. But at first, that was exactly what Amanda was looking for.

And she never thought she would fall in love with him.

But it felt good to have his attention, to have his care.

It was never about the things he bought for her or the extra bonus he gave her. Instead it was about the way her heart would flutter when he smiled at her or the way she felt wanted as he would gently hold her. Day by day, she was falling deeper in love.

And she knew her feeling would never be reciprocated.

Because even for Andrew, she was once again the second option.

"I'm not leaving her." His voice had a certain finality to it. And she had always known who he was going to pick.

Because she was used to being the second choice. Always.

Because after her step-sister was born, Amanda was always the second option for her father.

She had been in fourth grade and she had come home from school one afternoon, happy because her mom had promised to bake her chocolate chip cookies. And instead, she found her dad, standing in the living room with a stack of papers in his hands. And her mom, sitting on the sofa, crying.