Broken Strings

C H A P T E R S E V E N T E E N

"It's her gift,
to make everyone fall for her smile,
and push them away with her sadness."

- cynthia go

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Anisha played with her hands, refusing to look up at Sebastian. She could feel him staring at her.

He was angry. And he had every right to be.

She knew that.

Because Sebastian was the one who was forcing her to fight harder. Because he was the one who was doing everything in his power to try to give her another few days to live.

Last night wasn't the first time she had skipped her meds. She had been for a while.

Of the many pills she was supposed to take, the Iron supplements were the only ones she took every night. She also took the painkillers every now and then, sometimes multiple times a day but that was only when the pain was unbearable.

She figured that maybe it would end things faster. That maybe if she didn't take the pills anymore, it would all come to an end, even faster than it already was.

And last night, it was proof that it could.

She had felt it. Her body was weak. And it was slowly starting to shut down. She was finally giving up.

Because she wanted to give up.

Life would go on without her. The kids, Andrew, they all would learn to live without her. Everything, it would all continue on, just without her.

She was tired of all of it. Of crying. Of pretending to be happy. Of fighting for a reason to live.

Her blood count was lower than it ever had been. She was weaker than she had ever been.

It would all finally be over. Because she wanted it to be over. She just wanted it all to stop.

She finally looked up at Sebastian, worry and desperation clearly evident on his face.

She didn't understand why he even cared. She wasn't lovable.

No one could love her. Especially since the one person who had promised to do so had given up on her a long time ago.

Anisha didn't deserve to be loved. And she didn't want Sebastian to care anymore.

Sebastian finally sat down on the seat across from the hospital bed where Anisha was currently sitting and buried his face in his hands.

He didn't know what to do. He couldn't do anything. There was nothing he could do to save her. And he didn't know what to tell her. He didn't know how to tell her.

Twenty-six days was all she had left.

No, that was a lie. He knew she wasn't that lucky. She wasn't going to live another twenty-six days. Twenty-six days was the maximum number. If everything was well, she would get twenty-six days.

But Sebastian knew her case was complicated. Anisha was far from lucky. She wasn't going to get twenty-six days.

He had seen it throughout the years. Some people get better, other's don't.

He couldn't predict the exact number of breaths someone had left. That wasn't in his control. All he could do was give an estimate. And he did, he gave Anisha an estimate of twenty-six days.

But now as he stared at her, he could see her fading away right before his very eyes.

And he didn't know if this was the last time he was going to see her. If this was the last time he would get to see her smiling up at him, her eyes filled with hope that she was going to get better. If this was the last time he would get to hear her sweet voice saying his name, softly and slowly, emphasizing every character. If it was the last time he would get to look at her, to hold her in his hands and know what it was like to be in love, in love with her.