Broken Strings

C H A P T E R T W E N T Y

"She knew she was really sad,
when she stopped loving
the things she loved."

- atticus

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Anisha broke the pill into three pieces. She hated taking pills.

But she was trying. She really was trying.

It was already 10:56 AM. She had overslept. And she had woken up, feeling tired and ready to go back to sleep.

And that was exactly what she was going to do.

She was going to take her pills and then take a long, nice nap.

She was going to sleep until her kids came home from school. And only then would she wake up and spend her evening with them.

Other than that, she didn't have anything left.

Maybe one of these days she'd actually have enough energy to try and be happy once again. Maybe, just once, she'd have enough energy to try and feel alive. To feel healthy and alive.

But that wasn't likely.

She just wanted to sleep.

Sleep was good. She didn't feel the pain when she was sleeping. She didn't feel anything when she was sleeping.

She quickly swallowed her pills. She wasn't sure what they supposed to help with. What was even the point of taking the pills anymore?

She didn't have that long.

That much she knew. That much she had always known.

Anisha poured some tea into a blue mug. She loved drinking tea. Especially on mornings like this. A crisp October breeze, with the leaves shining in shades of red, orange and yellow.

It was now that she realized the beauty of the world around her. It was a part of the many things she had simply overlooked.

Winter afternoons spent reading a book, listening to the rain and sipping on warm hot chocolate. Spring evenings spent admiring the pretty flowers around her. Summer nights spent outside, roaming the streets of Santa Monica with her husband. Fall mornings spent trying to get Mira and Ryan ready for school, watching as the weather turned colder.

All these little things. They were her memories. They were the memories she cherished, deep within her heart. They reminded her of the beauty in life, the hope and happiness that she had sprinkled around her.

That she has tried. She really had tried.

Anisha gently bit her lip and stared at the mug. Biting her lip was a habit. It was something she did in order to keep herself from crying.

Because that was exactly what she wanted to do right now.

She wanted to cry as she wondered what next fall would be like. What the next month would be like.

The weather would be same, cool and crisp. The leaves would be painted in hues of scarlet and gold.

Everything would be same.

Everything would be the same, just without her.

Mira and Ryan would wake up complaining every morning that they didn't want to go to school. They would come home complaining that they had too much homework. Exactly a week before Halloween, Mira would start wearing her Cinderella costume around the house. At night, they would ask for apple pie after dinner.