Broken Strings

C H A P T E R T H I R T Y - F I V E

"I need you to know that no matter what happens, it was worth it to me Being with you, loving you. It was all worth it."

- Jenny Han

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Anisha look at Andrew's hand as he rolled the ring around, playing with it. Her eyebrows were drawn together, lips parted and chapped as she pulled her hand away from him.

After everything, every single fucking thing, she had finally given up. And in those few seconds, she couldn't have felt any duller.

Maybe she should've felt regret, for the mistakes she'd made and the lies she'd continued to believe. Maybe she should've felt a tinge of sorrow, for all the memories, only memories, that she'd be leaving behind, for her husband and her children. Maybe she should've felt pity, for the way things had turned out, for her and for everyone around her.

But truthfully, she didn't feel anything. Except dull, devoid of everything.

And she no longer cared, not even a little bit.

Coughing, she squirmed around a little, moving around to make herself comfortable.

"Anisha." His voice was hallow.

And she wanted to laugh, maybe cry at the way he stressed her name. Almost as if he couldn't believe what was going on. Almost as if he couldn't believe this was how it was going to end.

"No one ever deserves anything, do they?" She sucked in her lower lip, biting down on it. Her chest felt tight.

She didn't care. She didn't want to care. But still, after everything, she couldn't believe that everything was coming to an end for her. After everything, her entire life, it all came down to this?

The last few minutes, as she sat on the hospital bed, frail, coughing lightly, fading. It all came down to this?

"My mom used to tell me that people will get what they deserve. That sooner or later, everyone gets what they deserve." Anisha shrugged, looking away, gazing around the hospital room. "But what about people who get what they don't deserve?"

Almost hesitantly, she looked back at Andrew before quickly diverting her eyes. "But I guess, nothing is ever fair, is it?"

Holding back a bitter laugh, she shook her head. "I mean, we didn't deserve to end up like this."

"I didn't deserve." Her voice ragged, faded out at the end. She wasn't even sure. And maybe that was the problem, she'd never been sure of what she'd wanted, needed and deserved.

That had to be the problem. She knew what she wanted, what she needed. But perhaps, maybe she never understood what she truly deserved.

"I may have made a lot of mistakes. My entire life, I've fucked up, over and over. I've lied, I've cried and more than anything, I've tried."

"And that's all there is to it." Anisha placed her hand on top of Andrew's, softly as she faced him. "That's all there is to it."

"Everything will be okay, Andrew. Things never turn out as expected, life never goes according to plan. We planned everything out." Anisha had a faraway look, a faint smile. Because he had, they had. "We had everything planned out. And everything, this is how it turned out."

"I...Just take care of Mira and Ryan. You...You're a good father. You may not have cared much about me and I know that but you've always been good to them. Ryan, he....he'll come around. He's stubborn, just like you." Anisha smiled, faintly, her eyes filling with teardrops. Because life would still continue without her. Everyone, everything, would keep moving forward. "And Mira, she loves you more than anything. Don't ever doubt that."