Broken Strings

C H A P T E R F O U R T E E N

"Golden sun falls through the windows
But your smile is cold as snow,
It seems your summer on the surface
Hides a winter far below."

- E. H.

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Andrew stood in front of his sister's grave. It was a little past midnight and the night was silent and dark. The stars outside weren't shining as bright as they had been earlier that evening.

And for some reason, the night sky described his misery perfectly. Because he was miserable. He was tired, of everything. He was tired of fucking up all the time. He was tired of hurting.

He was tired of hurting people.

He was tired of hurting Anisha.

And he himself was tired of hurting. Tired of being miserable.

It had been months since he had last visited his sister. But tonight, tonight he just had to.

Because he needed to confront his past.

Because his misery was a result of his sister's actions.

Andrew blamed three people for his sister's death. His parents, his wife and most of all, himself.

But he didn't hate anyone as much as he hated himself.

Because he couldn't help but feel like he had failed. He had failed his parents. He had failed his sister. And he had failed his wife.

He had failed.

He was well-aware of how badly he had fucked things up with Anisha. It was because of his own doings. He was well-aware of how his mistakes had pushed Anisha away. He was well-aware of how those same mistakes had pushed his parents away.

And he couldn't help but feel as though he had also failed his sister.

Because in some ways, he blamed himself for his sister's death.

And he didn't want to nor did he try to find the truth out. The truth about why Cassie had done what she had. Because some things are better left unknown.

Some things are better left unsaid. And sometimes it's better to not know the real reason behind things.

And he didn't want to know why his sister had done what she had.

He didn't want to know why she had even been drinking when she was five-months pregnant. He didn't want to know why she had emptied the bottle of sleeping pills that her doctor had prescribed and taken as many pills as she could have.

All he knew was that for weeks, Cassie had been distant. She had been distant and sad.

But she always brushed it off as being stressed and tired.

But still Andrew couldn't help but feel as though as he had failed her. Because he was her younger brother. And when she had needed him most, he had failed her.

Thirty Years Ago

Nine year old Andrew stood alongside his twelve year old sister as they greeted family members and guests for their aunt's wedding.

He was beyond bored but his mother had already scolded him to be on his best behavior. Otherwise, he knew he wouldn't get to play with his toy car for another month.

Because last month, he had gotten in trouble again and his mom had taken his toy car away for an entire month!

His mom had bought him a new remote control toy car. It was a red car and it went really fast. He wanted a car just like that when he was older.