Mark's POV
I miss you Mark....
That voice... I know that voice...
I say to myself,
"Mark what's wrong? You tensed up all of a sudden" Jack says looking up at me,
"I'm fine Jack I just realized how much I stink" I say lying producing a fake laugh "I better go have a bath"
"I'll be here, do you want me to book you an appointment with the phycologist?" Jack asks,
"I'll get better Jack... I'll try for you"
"That's what I like to hear" Jack replies flashing me a weak smile.
******************
Mark's POV
Once the bath has finished being filled I take off most of my clothes but my boxers and shirt, I can't bare to look at my fat stomach... I say to myself as I slowly lower myself into the steaming bath water. When I finally relax I start to close my eyes. Sleep trying to consume me but I refuse,
Look what you've done Mark!
"There's that voice again..."
I'm not just a voice Mark! I'm disappointed you don't recognize me....
"Who are you!? And what do you want!" I say to myself out loud,
I'm the boy you treated like shit! You don't deserve to live!
"Steve...? Is that you...?" I say as tears make there way down my cheeks "it-it can't be-be you're... dead..."
Yeah no thanks to you!! Who lets their best friend die!!
"I didn't want this to happen!! I miss you so much Steve!!"
If you really do miss me then come and see me! Just drown yourself in the water that surrounds you!
"What about Jack...?"
He wouldn't care!! He'll move on with a snap of your fingers!
I can't take this anymore... I say to myself as I drain the water and get dressed.
"Feel a little bit better now?" Jack asked looking at me with concerned eyes.
"Yeah but I just want to go for a quick walk okay" I reply,
"Oh okay I'll come with you" Jack says with a slight smile creeping on his face while he grabs his coat,
"Oh... can I just go by myself...? I swear we will cuddle the night away when I get back.... That sound good Jackaboy?" I ask struggling to flash him a fake smile,
"Please don't be too long and take this" Jack says concern creeping into his weary Irish accent as he gives me my coat,
"I promise baby" I reply giving him a quick kiss on the cheek,
This is going to be the last time you see him you know that right...? So you better savor it! Steve says inside my head as I walk out the door.
****************
Mark's POV
I wonder aimlessly without a destination with music blasting through my ear drums to block out the voices as good as I can but sadly I've failed once again.
Just face it Mark there is only one way to make us finally shut up!!
That's to kill yourself like your friend who you let die!
You see that road over there with all the busy traffic?! Go jump in front of a car! No wait! Go jump in front of a truck! No one will miss you! You're just a pathetic waste of space!
"Why are you saying this Steve? I thought you were my best friend!? Are all the memories we shared together mean nothing to you!?" I yell at thin air as some people walking down the dark street turn their heads clearly judging me,
Because you know why!? Because I was there for you Mark!! Every time you were sad! And were you there for me....?! NO! you just left me to suffer by myself! I wish I never saved you from shooting that cold, unforgiving bullet straight through your stupid brain!
"I-I didn't know... You felt that way..." I whisper letting the pain wash over me and in result salty tears rush down my cheeks as I stand here on the roadside starring at every car that passes and how easy it is to end it all with one quick step...
Come on! What are you waiting for!? Jump!!
I take a couple deep breaths as I jump out in front of in coming traffic.....
YOU ARE READING
My Secret Love
FanfictionJack and Mark have been friends for a long time and now they are going to collage together. Jack has always had feelings for Mark but he was scared to tell him because he was scared what he will think. Will Jack ever tell Mark how he feels about hi...
