Secret [Yoonseok]

Chapter 12: It's okay

          Yoongi walked between the empty hallways. Wanting an exit. The concert was today..... This feeling needed to go away. He contemplated going back and apologizing for everything. He wanted to not feel anymore. How does Hoseok feel? Yoongi's was blurred,  he was swaying from side to side burly being able to walk properly. He felt like he was about to pass out. This moment was a blur, he didn't have a sense of time. He walked and walked which felt like for an eternity when he finally ended up outside a hotel door. He without thinking began to knock on the door.

       A couple of seconds passed be for the door finally opened. There was Rap Monster on the other side of the door, he looked at distraught Yoongi and he instantly felt anger and worry rising. He felt anger rising up from the pit of his stomach. He never wants to see anyone he loves with tear stains on their cheeks, with eyes red puffy eyes with tears

     "What happened?!" Namjoon questioned soaked in worry.

     "C-can we talk?" Yoongi replied softly trying his best to sound composed but failing miserably.

     "Yes! Yes! Come in!" Namjoon hurriedly moved out of the was so Yoongi could enter. He quickly closed the door and turned to Yoongi. "Want something to drink?" Namjoon asked whilst taking a cold water bottle from the mini refrigerator that was at the hotel. Yoongi shook his head walking to the single bed, preparing to sit down. Namjoon sat down on the floor in front of Yoongi, as if he was a kid in preschool waiting to have a story read to them. He was attentive, worried and curious.  

      "I was dating someone...." Yoongi began," I may have over reacted and completely ruined everything..." Yoongi disclosed. He didn't know if he should say the full story or just let that be all the information he left out.

     "What happened?" Namjoon prayed for more information.

      "Well... I was dating this person and I began to feel unsure whether they really loved me or not. Since our relationship was a secret I couldn't tell anyone about it. That is also how they wanted it to stay but if the public found out we might get into serious trouble. I.... Just don't know what to do. I mean..... there is not a choice anymore, our relationship is gone. He probably won't talk to me again.." Yoongi replied disheartened, his voice began to crack as he began to speak. He wiped the few tears slowly running down his face. This time his bottle where he desperately tried to tuck his emotions in was almost empty the tears rolling down at this moment where his final. Yoongi was tired of crying, he really didn't want to anymore.

      The next few words uttered by Namjoon scared and shocked Yoongi, "Is it Hoseok?"

       There was silence as Yoongi didn't know how to  respond. He didn't come to lie but he didn't want to go against Hoseok's wishes. So he put his head down hopping the question would be forgotten. But that is very unlikely and now the atmosphere was almost unbearable and awkward.

       "You know..... if you are gay that's okay. People don't choose who they like, the heart.... and genetics choose. Love isn't only between a man and a women, love is between two people no matter what gender. Its okay. Also Hoseok is a REALLY REALLY nice guy and he never does anything if he doesn't have a true passion towards it. Saying that I'm certain he does truly love you... He wanted to go out with you, didn't he? He loves music, bangtan, the members, including you the most but if you make his decide between them he wouldn't know what to choose.  Would you? Would you know what to choose if you were in that situation? Because its true if the public found out not only you but the members and the agency will revive backlash since Korea isn't really that accepting of lgbtqi+ yet but some progress is being made. But we are a family and family stick together through thick and thin... Even if you dating a wonderful man gets exposed we will still be together, we will still be making music no matter what. Because it's what we love, its our passion. Hoseok is our family and neither me nor you can force him to come out as gay or bi if he is not ready. I know for a fact that you are his first gay relationship, so he doesn't know what to do. I'm sure he is just as unsure as you are, so this will be a journey for the two of you. Plus the members don't mind.... A secret between you and me, I think all the members are at least bi." Namjoon spewed out advice, comfort and words Yoongi needed to hear right now. This moment Namjoon was so real with Yoongi saying wholeheartedly what he felt and thought about the situation.

        Yoongi really felt quite relived and happy with the advice but he couldn't help feeling guilt and same. Was he really forcing Hoseok to come out? He back tracked a little bit to what Namjoon just said, "Are you bisexual?" Yoongi questioned a bit happily in shock. Namjoon gave a wide smile as he nodded his head.      

        "Yea! I also like Jin so I completely know where  completely you are coming from but the world has other people too. It's important to be considerate of them too."

Yoongi nodded to these man's wise words. "Ahhh.... And one more thing." Namjoon continued,"Don't ever lie to me again."

        "I promise!" Yoongi exclaimed. "By the way how did you know I was dating Hoseok?" he curiously asked.

        "Are you joking! Anyone who knows you as long as I do knows that the way you ask with Hobi is much different than with normal people. It may be subtle but its there no matter how you look at it. With him around you are defiantly more happier and active than usual. Or I may have like some kind of maternal instinct." Namjoon responded whilst joking around a bit. "Now go sleep for a while, you face is super pale." He insisted.

         "But I don't want to!! I'm not sleepy!" Yoongi whined but ended up falling asleep practicing as soon as he finished the sentence.

A/N

Sorry for the really short update... I'm just not feeling it anymore. Like a passion for writing I had when I first started the story. Like I have a loads of ideas I just don't really feel like writing it.

Soooooooo is any of you would like to spam me with Yoonseok pictures and gifs that would be nice!

Its hard to write when I'm uninspired, and since my phone was trashed I lost all my valuable Yoonseok pictures 😭 

Sorry if I'm doing to many authors noted I just really feel like doing it. But I'd you guys don't like it I will stop. So let me know :)