To Be A Carnivore

Chapter 47 Preservation

Justin kept his distance even when we landed and got to our hotel. He was responsive but his answers were short and dismissive. He was distracted. He tried not to ruin the mood by acting like he was fine but his withdrawals within himself couldn't be missed. Instead it was the others and I who tried not to bother him.

I've been to a lot of hotels in my life but the one we were staying at had this unique air about it. I wondered if it was because I was on a foreign land or it was just an elegant simplicity that only this particular London hotel could offer. In all honesty, I would have preferred going somewhere south and tropical since it was the first month of the year. It was cold everywhere else but the view of the busy streets with those double-Decker buses appeased me nonetheless regardless of the cold weather.

Activities were on hold until tomorrow but I had to do something before sleeping. I left my hotel room and walked to the room across mine. I knocked on the door and the door clicked open.

Justin didn't say anything when he saw me. He just turned around and walked back into his room. He left the door open which was permission enough.

I followed him into the hotel room shutting the door as I did. When I saw Justin again, he was sitting on the edge of his bed with an open whisky bottle from the hotel mini bar.

"It's too early to be drinking" I pointed out.

"Is it?", was the careless reply. "Maybe the time difference had me fooled."

"Drinking can be a bad habit you know" I warned. My boss didn't disagree.

"It's also pretty futile when you're too far gone for the bottom of the bottle" he said before replacing the drink at a counter then resuming his seat on his bed. "I can't get drunk no matter how hard I try recently."

"If there's a problem, I can hear you out" I offered.

"Problem?" I wasn't buying the dismissive tone. Justin cannot pretend everything was okay when they clearly weren't.

I bid my time as I stood in silence. I waited for him to tell me what was wrong. I knew my presence placed pressure on him but I wasn't actively forcing him to speak. The decision was his. If he couldn't tell me before my patience ran out, I'd probably leave for the night and try again tomorrow.

"I'm scared."

Justin finally spoke. His sentiment couldn't be heard in his voice. He wasn't trembling nor were his blue eyes filled with terror. He looked fine apart from his words and his earlier actions. I guess fear didn't always manifest in a person's physical demeanor.

I sat beside Justin placing my hand around his shoulders. He rested his tired head on my shoulder. "That doesn't sound like you at all" I remarked.

"I know that it's not like me" he said. "I'm sure of myself most of the time. But that's more because I've never failed so hard or so much in my life."

I could relate to that. Being an overachiever like my boss, it was hard to face failure when I encountered it. But unlike Justin, I had developed some resistance to that voiding taste of defeat. He was young and hadn't had many opportunities but defeat was a natural part of life.

I was happy in a way. It wasn't due to Justin's fear. But rather, I finally had the chance to comfort him instead and support him than the other way around. I kissed his temple and that action for me was worth a thousand words.

"My lawyers are upset" Justin said. "They're like uncle and dad saying that I should cut my losses early. They don't agree with me in tying my personal assets with the company. No one agrees with me. But VInTech has always been my responsibility."