Charlotte Delaney has sworn off men. After one relationship disaster after another- including turning a guy gay!- Charlotte is so over the male species.
Isaac Fletcher had his heart cruelly broken. Yes, it was years ago. No, he never got over it. I...
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I worry about my sister sometimes. There are days where Sophie resembles a functioning human being and then there are days where she acts like she's a complete Martian who is unaccustomed to the Earthlings way of doing things. I blame whoever put her in charge of planning the baby shower. Sophie shouldn't be in charge of anything because it gives her power and power turns her into a dictator and that just leads to a lot of problems.
Case in point- she's currently glaring at me from across my kitchen table while brandishing several cream coloured paper gift bags in one hand and a fake baby in the other hand. She keeps telling me that I have to help her put the gifts into the bags and I keep telling her that I would not do that. This is why we are arguing and now her voice has reached a level of noise that is audible only to certain animals and her birth family on Mars.
"You have to help me!" Sophie says. I assume this is what she says, really, but there's no way of knowing for sure. Unfortunately, her husband is in the other room, watching some sports programme with Isaac and my brother, and he would be the only one that could accurately translate what my sister is saying. Sophie sighs heavily and throws down the baby, the plastic head hitting the side of the heavy table with a loud clunk sound. Yeah, she's never babysitting my kid. "Why are you being so difficult?"
In all honesty, I don't think I was being difficult at all. Was I the one what asked for a baby shower? No. In fact, as I recall, I didn't know anything about it until after Sophie took it upon herself to organise the stupid thing and send out invites. This was all her idea and as such, she should be responsible for everything. Including packing all these miniature gifts into the customised bags she ordered from an extortionate website she found on line.
Baby showers weren't really my things, anyway. It was so American and not at all what I would have chosen for myself. I'm having a baby but that doesn't mean I need Lord only knows how many people traipsing through my lovely new house, decorating onesies. I would be quite happy with a text that says CONGRATULATIONS! and everyone can leave it at that.
Plus, I saw the rough draft guest list and that was enough to make me not want to turn up to the party being held in my honour. Sophie, the crazy psycho, only went and invited everyone from Mum's side of the family. She even invited Laure. No one likes her. I swear, even her mother sometimes hates Laure. She's boring and so righteous. She turns her nose up at everything and is forever judging everyone with those beady eyes of hers. Her brother, Louis, is exactly the same. I have no idea how they ended up like that because everyone else in our family is normal. If Laure has RSVP's that she's coming, I am booking the first flight out of London. I cannot be in the same room as her for longer than five seconds before I'm annoyed and ready to claw her eyes out.
"Why are you even bothered about this?" I asked, licking my spoon before dipping it into the ice cream tub for another mouthful of raspberry ripple deliciousness. My craving has moved on from eating macarons every day to wanting cold treats in any form, which is why our freezer is stocked full with various flavours of ice creams, sorbets and Froyo, and not much else. "Look, Sophie, why don't you just get some nice decorative wicker or wire baskets, fill those up with the mini gifts and leave the bags on the side. That way, people can fill their goody bags with whatever they want. Or even better! Get Dad to donate a shit load of vouchers to use in the Delaney Spa. People would love that."
