GOT7 oneshot collection

another day (that i cant turn back)(yugbam)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11686578/chapters/26307897
Summary:

Suspicion is never a particularly healthy emotion to involve in a relationship, but this brand of suspicion burns.

____________________________________________________________

On hindsight, Yugyeom should probably have expected it.

But it didn't change the fact that it felt like a punch to the gut when Bambam stalked in, fresh from yet another round of questioning, and the first thing to leave his boyfriend's lips was, "I think we should break up."

"What?" Yugyeom's head snapped up, his character on the screen immediately getting pulverised in seconds. He offered a hesitant smile, certain that he had misheard. Bambam still had a rather strong accent after all.

Instead, the Thai boy rounded on Yugyeom and shoved him hard. He toppled backwards, shoulders hitting the back of the couch, and suddenly it didn't matter that he had at least ten kilos on Bambam, or that he was half a head taller. He was scared – not of what Bambam was about to do, but of what he was about to say.

"I said," Bambam repeated mockingly, almost spitting the words, "we should break up."

Yugyeom's mouth opened, and for a horrible moment not a single sound came out from between his lips, but finally he managed to croak, "Why?"

"Why?" Bambam sneered, turning away as if physically sickened by the boy he had been cuddling not two hours before. "You have some nerve, Kim Yugyeom. 'I wrote a poem in English for you'? Heart heart heart?"

Yugyeom swore the ground literally disappeared from beneath him. He lurched to his feet, unsteady, and made a grab for Bambam's hand, but his boyfriend (still his boyfriend) was too quick, and he jerked his arm away from Yugyeom's with an expression of disgust.

"Bam, please," he tried, and his voice sounded thin and pathetic to his own ears. "Where did – how did you see those?"

"Seriously?" A raised brow, condescension dripping from that single motion. "Of all the things you have to say, that's it?"

He turned to face Yugyeom fully at last, and he realised that it wasn't just disdain lining Bambam's face, no matter how foreign the expression was to him. There was hurt too, and a sort of stunned disbelief that pained Yugyeom more than any spiteful words Bambam could have thrown at him.

"I was just – I was trying to be friends with him. With – Mark." Even gone, the very mention of Mark was a physical presence in the air, and Bambam took a step back. "The hearts didn't mean anything. I just thought he was cool. I thought maybe if I hung out with him, I would – I don't know. I thought I would become him. Become like him."

"Why the hell would you want to become like Mark Tuan?" Bambam snapped, voice rising in agitation. "I saw that selfie you took for him, with your stupid kissy face and that stupid caption. I thought you didn't mean anything by it then. I trusted you. I –" He closed his eyes, head lowering, and Yugyeom wanted so badly to step forward and wrap his arms around those shaking shoulders.

"You're my boyfriend, Bam," he said quietly, blinking back tears. "I didn't want to date Mark. I only want you."

"Then why did you keep asking about him?" Bambam's shriek took him by surprise, the other boy raising his narrow-eyed gaze as his words came out high, almost feral-sounding. "Mark's next class, Mark's swimming practice, Mark Mark Mark. Every damn thing was about Mark. I was proud of your English marks, but you only needed Mark."

Yugyeom felt the backs of his knees hit the couch, and then he was sprawled on it once more, staring up at Bambam. "It was because of you!" he screamed back, panic breaking his voice as Bambam's furious expression blurred before his eyes. "That one time when we were having lunch, and Mark walked past and said hi to me – you looked at him and you said he was so perfect, and then you looked back at me and you looked so...sogrossed out. Like you didn't know why you were dating me when there was someone like him around. I saw your face, I saw it!"

He knew he was getting hysterical, his voice rising into a raw, throaty shout as tears slid down his cheeks, but he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He felt Bambam grab his shoulders and shake him – not violently, but it made him cry even harder anyway. "I was being sarcastic. I hated his damn guts. I was disgusted by him, not at you! How could you think –" Bambam broke off with a groan and pulled Yugyeom towards him instead, resting the taller boy's head on his chest.

"You didn't – you said – I thought you were looking at me –" Yugyeom tried to pull away, his words coming out between gasping sobs. "I thought – if I could become more like him –"

"I hated him," Bambam said flatly, his fingers running through Yugyeom's thick hair soothingly. "I just didn't want to look – jealous. But I thought, after seeing those messages you sent him – I mean, you didn't tell me he quit being your tutor."

Yugyeom stilled, sniffling slightly. "When I told you Mark was proud of my English marks, you said that was great. I thought – I thought you wouldn't be happy to know that he quit."

"Yeah," Bambam said slowly, the motions of his fingers slowing until they stopped all together. "But I thought, just maybe – I mean, you didn't...you didn't do it, did you?"

A starburst of betrayal exploded in Yugyeom's mind, and this time he managed to pull away from Bambam, who only stared at him, expression stiff and set, like he was prepared to hear the worst. "I didn't – I would never – I can't believe you think I did it."

Relief seeped slowly into Bambam's features, and he started hastily, "Of course not. I just saw that you were so mad in those messages you sent him, and –"

"You said he was dead meat the last time you texted him," Yugyeom said quietly, his voice suddenly terribly cold, and Bambam paled. "Yeah, I saw those messages too, just like you saw mine. And now you've just told me you hated him. Hated his guts."

"I didn't –" Bambam sputtered, fear making his features waxy.

"I never thought you did," Yugyeom interrupted, with a bitter twist to his lips, "but I guess it's not so hard for you to think I'm a murderer, is it?"

"Gyeom, no," Bambam whispered, but Yugyeom only stood and pushed his way past the slighter boy.

"I need some fresh air," he snapped, and he made sure to slam the door hard on his way out.