Destined With You

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Monday rolled by far too quickly and I was in the state of not caring about anything. I threw on the first thing I saw in my cupboard, which consisted of black trousers and a grey top that was too big for me. The rest was not even worth talking about. My hair was in wild curls, which needed serious taming but I really was past giving a toss about how I looked.

I got out of my truck and dragged my feet along the pavement and towards the entrance of my school. I felt like some sort of zombie. I was living but I was dead from the inside. It was as if there was nothing I should be breathing for, except Tommy, he was the only reason why I’m still here trying to keep myself together everyday.

I reached my first lesson of the day, English. I don’t really remember what the teacher was rambling on about, I was watching his lips move but I heard no sound. I was in some sort of daze. Everything around me was moving in slow motion and I was just watching everyone’s movement.

The smile on a girl’s face, the carefree laugh from the boy beside her, the little jokes the people around them would crack and the teacher’s frustrated sigh as no one listened to him. I watched it all. I watched it all in envy. How easy it was to just be happy and young. The only worry in their heads was to pass exams or what to wear to the upcoming party on Friday.

I gave a small shake of the head.

If only they knew how lucky they were. If only they could appreciate it as much as they should. The littlest of things in life were actually what made it your life, the impact of them were far greater than people knew and when they get taken away from you, that’s when you feel the loss.

I remembered packing my things up and walking out of the door to the next lesson once the teacher had dismissed us. It was all just a blur as I sat in Biology watching the teacher dissect a liver. I just sat and observed.

I think the person next to me was asking me for something but I wasn’t listening.  I was just thinking. Thinking how unfair this world can be. How cruel fate could really be.

My father was taken away from me.

My mother had no love to give to me.

My little Tommy had no idea what was going on.

And then there was Drake.

Sigh.

I messed up. I messed up big time.

After the whole gym incident, I had just been depressed. I wanted so badly to just tell him how I didn’t mean any of what I said and how I was just upset with everything going on in my life, but then another part of me told me what’s the point? He doesn’t care about you; he even said that at MJ’s House so why apologize?

My heart was telling me to go to him but my brain was screaming at me to forget it.

I was sure that he didn’t care about me. The way he said it at MJ’s, well I easily believed it. The cold look he had given me was scarred into my mind but then my heart was asking, what about the hurt look when you said you didn’t care?

I didn’t mean it when I said it; could it be possible that he didn’t mean it?

I was just so confused.

All I knew was that I miss him and I was completely sure of it.

Before I knew it, lunchtime had arrived and I was already seated with my friends in the canteen. I couldn’t really remember how that happened. I was moving the vegetables in my plate around, not really hungry. I was numb and my stomach was empty but I still didn’t feel like eating.