The Glitch [Gawsten] >Completed<

20: Heart

We approach the hole in the wall everyone silent not even our footsteps can be heard.
The wall continues to look slimy on the other side.

Still nothing, no one, but there is something in the air that makes us keep our mouths shut. No one talks no one will. Not yet.
Otto leads the way the compass in hand I can now hear his feet crunching against to ground. The ground is strange crunchy, yet if you kneeled down and touched it, it seems like it would be slimy.

No one cares about the grotescness of it all besides Geoff.
Although he might not be disgusted at all, maybe that look on his face is truthfully sadness because we betrayed him.

I can say it over and over in my head I'm sorry.
I'm sorry Geoff you didn't deserve any of this.

You we're ready to die.

I wasn't ready for that though.

I'm selfish and won't let you.

I'm sorry.

It's weird to remember how this all started. With something as small as a hand.

~~~

The room is quiet as I feel tears start to form. I can't cry. I won't cry.
Geoff could just be exaggerating.

I look down at the calaced hand that Geoff has claimed to be unmovable. He looks at me blankly with an unreadable expression.
Silence.

The grey wall's seem to be feeling the mood. This is all quite grey.
Nothing seems to be colourful right now. Only Geoff's eyes. His strangly beautiful blue eyes. That's the only thing that seems to have life and colour.

This is a hospital after all.
Positivity is minimal. Sickness is expected.

Geoff is sick, more sick than anyone I've ever heard of. He's came back. He came back to us.
But he's came back broken.
He's a piece of glass that has shattered, he's broken and I've found myself cut.

"I c-cant m-move it." he repeats what he said before. I won't believe it, I don't want to.

But he's serious.
I have to comfort him but I don't know how.
Because I wont let myself believe.

His face is clear and emotionless while mine is wrinkling up, like a face does before it cries.

I'm sitting here on these bedsheets that countless have died on, a quick wash can make it seem like it never happened. Make people forget that someones life has ended on these objects, sooth them.

Geoff cant be washed. Soothing him is harder than simply washing away the memory of death-stricken bedsheets.
I don't know how to help him.
I wan't to.

But I don't think I can.

"It will all be o-okay."

I find myself uncontrolably crying now, my vision blurred. I can't see his hand anymore or the colour in his eyes. My heart feels like it's going to explode.
I need Otto here I can't do this by myself. I can't comfort him on my own.

I need Otto. I need my little Otter.

Still, all I can see is the blurred shapes of the depressing grey room. Geoff is propably still emotionless maybe that's a side effect to dying having no emotion.

He could just be a ghost.
Maybe he's not even real.
Maybe he never was.

Maybe Otto isn't real either.

If I was royal I wouldn't have to worry about any of this I could treat Geoff, help him real or not.

I might be in an insane asylum all dressed in white, with white walls. The plain colour trying to push calm thoughts into the patients screaming minds. When all the patients want is vibrant happy walls.

If I was royal I wouldn't have to worry about any of this, I could treat Geoff, help him real or not.

Maybe my mind has started screaming.
No, it already has been.

That's probably it. Im dressed in white with the other screaming for help patients. Geoffs a symptom making my mind bend.

Then the semi-warm skin touches my hand. It's not like a normal hand it's uncontrolled, limp. But still warm. Not as warm as usual skin but warm enough.

My tears hit his hand. He doesn't notice.
He wasn't exaggerating.
I continue to let the salty tears fall.

Geoff's real. He's not a ghost or made up.

This is real.

And I think that fact that is going to rip me apart piece by piece.
My friend is truthfully suffering.
~~~

Daydreams rarely happen to me, and of course now of all times I have one.

I thought right though.
It did rip me apart piece by piece.

All that's left is my heart...I gave that away a long time ago.

I gave that away. I gave it to Geoff.
I gave it to him way before he knew I did. He had it, but didn't see it. It was invisible to his glitched eyes.

Those eyes that if they weren't glitched at all I wouldn't love them like I do.

It didn't matter that he didn't see my unbeating heart though. I still loved him. Dispite him not seeing that fact. Even if he didn't love me back. Even if he still doesn't.

He probably hates me now.

I'm a big fat liar. I lied to the boy I love.
To the boy who owns my heart, the boy who could crush it in a second.

I want to go back to the hotel bathroom. I want to take back my lies.

Too late. Too bad.

Were here and he'll be saved soon.

My selfish little heart will beat again when he's cured. Him being cured will make the blood start pumping.

Life will be worth living. I will finally give a damn about living.
Last time I felt that way was with Otto.
Four years ago on the end of the world.

We still call it that.

It was more the end of our lives. Not everyones world came crashing down.
Thats all us.

Now were in the center of the glitch the place beautiful yet discusting and awful. The place thats going to change everything, Geoffs just has to read something.
I have a feeling were almost to the words. Whatever those words are.
This is finally happening.

Hope is swelling up inside me.
Thats dangerous.

It's a small risk, for the boy with the most beautiful beaten blue eyes.

The boy I'm never sure is mine or not.