The Dead Poets

13

As I look into Charlie's mesmerizing light brown eyes, the words I've been depriving myself of saying for the longest time escape...

"I like you too."

***

"You-you what?" Charlie asked incredulously, mouth slightly agape.

"Well erm Neil told me that you..." I hesitate, the tension of the situation becoming apparent.

As the knot in my stomach increasingly becomes worse, the words fall from my mouth before I can prevent the bitterness that's laced in my tone.

"Just forget it." I say, grabbing my book bag and running hastily through the court yard.

I hear my name being shouted from afar, but rather than turning around, my legs carry me further away.

~

My legs swing beneath me as I sit on the edge of my bed. 'Carpe Diem' I spat lowly, so much for that.

Suddenly, a faint knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts.

I quickly inspect my face in the oval mirror hung above my bed. I quickly flatten down the front of my tweed skirt, before shouting "come in."

A handsome figure emerges from the hall. Which of course, could only be Charlie.

Although I didn't expect much less, considering I left in the manner I had.

"Can we talk? Please." He begged, the last part muttered just barely above a whisper.

For the first time in a while, I really took in his features. His hair was unusually disheveled, tie slightly unfastened and dark circles adorned his eyes.

My heart fell at the sight of him. I began silently hoping I wasn't the cause for this...

Upon noticing I hadn't answered his previous question, I slowly nod. Sitting back down on my bed, gesturing for him to do the same.

"I'm sorry." He begins.

Sorry?

I felt awful. I was the one who stormed off. I should be apologizing, if anyone.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted that way, it's just... I'm not used to..." I pause, unsure of the right wording. I have never seen Charlie this vulnerable before and I was terrified the wrong words would hurt him immensely.

"This." I finish, gesturing slowly between the two of us.

He stares at me intently, his soft hazel orbs piercing mine.

Over the weeks I have become so accustomed to the humorous, happy go lucky Charlie, the facial expressions of this rather somber and vulnerable Charlie sat before me, are almost foreign.

"Can I ask you something? And can you promise to be honest?" I begin nervously.

"Yes," he says quietly, his gaze remaining strong.

"Is what-is what Neil says true?" I ask slowly, bracing myself for all possible outcomes.

"Yes," He answers instantly, his voice suddenly becoming slightly stronger.

I can't help the butterfly feeling that overtakes my stomach.

"I really wanted to tell you myself and all, it's just-well Neil says I get too nervous around you. He thinks I will ruin any chance I could have with you. I wanted to tell you, I really did. I even found myself becoming sappy." He chuckles lightly at the last part before continuing.

"When you anxiously scribbled words onto your notebook, trying to capture every word of the fast taking professors. When you laughed at the dumbest things I would say or when you sat under your favourite tree, nose stuck in yet another novel... I wanted to tell you. Believe me I did. I just couldn't bring myself to actually do it."

Listening to Charlie ramble made me feel more loved than I ever have in my life. More special, more important.

A single tear escapes my eye, as his soft thumb raises to gently pushed it away.

He began to lean in ever so slowly, cautious of my reaction.

Upon noticing I was mimicking his same gesture, he closed the space between us. Pressing his warm body against mine, his hand gently cupping my face, as his lips finally came in contact with my own...