Seventeen

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Emerson watched as Fleury was struggling in goal against Ottawa. So far he had let in four pucks and damn did she want to be put in. There was no way they could lose to the Senators on home turf like this- not in her first game with Bryce in over four years. She was forced to even watch him score two of the goals, making her heartache. She couldn't help but feel torn in this situation.. Ems always supported Bryce through the years but now they were competitors and she needed him to not do well.

With almost eight minutes into the second period Coach Sullivan clapped her on the back, "We're putting you in Rousseau. Next whistle get ready." It must've been the fourth goal that really initiated this..

"Yes sir!" this was it. She felt adrenaline rush through her body as she was thankful for this chance. She'd once again be on the ice with her best friend.

It went fast, the whole game. Of eighteen shots attempted on her she was able to block seventeen. She felt a rush everytime Bryce sent a puck flying her way and she was able to stop them. She had to keep her focus intense, the Senators were a tough team that definitely had playoff material. Beating them now would give them the mental edge for the future. Emerson just wanted to win so she could brag on Bryce for as long as she wanted. To her dismay she wasn't able to stop Phaneuf's goal, but as her teammates continued to score she didn't let it get to her. Rust getting a hatrick was amazing, the pride he had as he did it and all the guys crowding around him. And as the final buzzer went off, they had won.

In the line as they all shook hands, Ems and Bryce made eye contact. For losing, the boy had the biggest grin glued onto his face. She felt giddy finally seeing him, cause fuck had it been months and she missed him immensely.

Neither player cared if they held up the moving lines as they went in for a quick hug as they passed. A few people looked at them in surprise and those who saw in the crowd her perplexed to the most. It probably wasn't known the two were former teammates, inseparable for years. Emerson didn't care though, let people say what they wanted.

***

"Bryce!!" Emerson practically screamed as she ran into his arms. He swung her around slightly as he pulled her into a tighter hug. The two squeezed tight, as if it would be the last time for years.

Emerson couldn't help but remember as she stood with her face smushed into his chest, arms around him, all the good times they shared. His all too familiar scent reminded her of every time they fell asleep on the couch watching TV or before games. Everytime they'd be out with other teammates exploring abandoned buildings or all staying up until ungodly hours- it made her smile. She felt genuinely happier than she had in weeks. Sorry to Pete and Kelsey, but Bryce was someone she needed more of in her life right now.

"Fuck I've missed you so much Ems. I can't believe we've really made it to the top like we always said we would..." His face was buried in her hair as he refused to let go just yet.

"Now we just gotta get on the same team." she giggled as she leaned her head backwards so they could make eye contact. Still in each other's arms it probably looked misleading to anyone who could see.

"One day maybe.. just like the old days that would be lit..."

"Damn I know."

Things in the hall they were in got quiet until an unfamiliar laugh sounded behind the pair breaking their fond moment, "you two gonna start making out or something?"

"Shut up Karlsson!" Bryce turned red as he separated himself from Ems.

The Senators captain came over to the duo, and introduced himself to the Penguins goalie. Emerson gladly shook his hand, "nice to meet you."

"You as well, great game." Erik smiled kindly, "I hate to break up the reunion but we gotta get going Bry."

"Yeah, I figured."

"Go grab your stuff don't be late."

"On it!" Bryce took Emerson's hand and gave it a light squeeze, along with a sympathetic smile before taking off towards the lockeroom, "I'll call you!" was the last thing she heard him say..

Watching him run away from her was another reality check to the life they lived. It was just like with Kelsey, absolutely heartbreaking and she wanted to cry. That was a boy whom she grew up with during some of the most important years of their lives. They won championships together and experienced life as it was. It was hard to deny how different it was between them as the two went their separate ways, having lived very distinct lives from eachother, but it didn't break their connection.

Emerson hated feeling so emotionally distressed over small things like this, she hated that she was crying so much more. She didn't want her teammates or anyone viewing her as weak or a nuisance.

So immediately she went to go back into their lockeroom, get her stuff and leave. She excused herself claiming she was just tired and wanted to get extra sleep before they headed off to Florida. The whole time her head was stuck on Bryce and all her other friends. It was hard. But were these feelings normal? Was she overreacting? Those thoughts were stuck in her head as she was leaving the PPG Paints Arena.

She never felt this way in college, or even down in the ushl. Emerson didn't even feel this lonely after she lost her parents.. but the thing was, she couldn't let herself think that way... "Ems you have Pete at home, a phone at your disposal to call anyone, and an amazing team." she needed to keep telling herself that. She wasn't out of place in Pittsburgh, this team made it feel like she belonged.. so why could she let go?

Maybe she was being too nostalgic and trying to live in the past..

***

Sidney closed the front door to his house and kicked off his shoes, and dropped his bag to the ground. He was exhausted and hated coming to an empty house after every road trip, after every game. You'd think he would be used to it after these past couple years, but living alone could wear anyone down after time.

He wasn't even going to bother grabbing a bite to eat, he wanted to fall right into his bed. He trudged up the stairs and into his own room. He was glad to be home rather than a hotel, but right now he wished one of the guys were with him. Sid's thoughts were burning with jealousy that he didn't have the right to feel.

Him, Marc and Geno had seen Emerson and Bryce together- the way they held one another. He felt himself burn with feelings he hadn't felt in years, and it was evident by all means. At his age he didn't think anything would make him want to slam something into a wall so much besides hockey. He felt foolish for those emotions but that's just how love was. He was old enough to at least acknowledge it...

It didn't take long for Sidney to get ready for bed. He took his shower back at the arena to avoid less time at home. He was only here to sleep then head back to the arena in the morning.

At times he felt like a hypocrite trying to help Emerson through her problems when at times he felt like he was drowning. The pressure was always high on him, but around her he could forget all about it. She could make him smile when he just wanted to be alone. Sidney was starting to want Emerson, but there would be so many obstacles in the way that at this point he'd deal with, but doubt she'd be able to. There was a lot they knew about eachother, but there'd be more to touch up on.

Besides, if he was going to be with her, he was going to do it right. Not like what Gio did to her. Emerson deserved an actual man in her life, and Sidney liked to think he was best fit for that. Even with his insecurities knowing he was older and she may shy away, knowing she was much more of a private person than he was. They had many similarities with their lives and personalities but still things that could cause issues. It was almost funny to him how both were actually struggling right now in their own ways.

Sidney laid in his bed staring up at the ceiling in the darkness. Curtains covered the shining moonlight coming in through the windows, but nothing was blocking out the silence the star hockey player was left with. His thoughts right now were dangerous, ones he didn't want to deal with. After all this time, he too forgot what it felt like to care about someome on another level... more like the suffering that would go into until things were clear.

As he finally began to drift off to sleep after a few painful minutes, his only thoughts were on Emerson.

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