You Still Have All Of My Heart. (Harry Styles)

15.

After the show, the boys and I went right to bed, all of us not really wanting another hungover morning. I was incredibly tired, but I couldn't seem to fall asleep. After an hour or so of sitting in my bunk, listening to quiet snoring from below, I decided to get up and watch a movie.

I walked into the pigstie that was the back lounge and began searching for a DVD. I wrinkled my nose as I reached into a pile of dirty pants and God knows what else and pulled out a

single disk. There was no writing on it, besides a single phrase: "Harry's Shit".

I shrugged. This would have to do. I put it in the player, a little afraid of what I'd find. But what appeared on the screen was definitely not what I expected. "Bambi?" I mumbled out loud, snickering to myself. He was something else.

Well, to put it lightly, I got a little too into it. I was halfway through the part where Bambi's mom gets shot, bawling my eyes out, when a light turned on in the hallway. I was trying to compose myself when Harry walked into the room and burst out into tired laughter at me.

"Enjoying yourself?" he said, sitting down next to me.

I wiped my eyes, shooting him a glare. "Shut up, you know it's the saddest part. Why do you even have this?" he shrugged, not answering me.

I turned away and continued to watch as Bambi realizes his mother is dead. I didn't even try to hide my crying. I turned to Harry who was now gawking at me. "How do you watch this shit?" I choked, burying my head in my hands.

I don't know how or when the tears about the movie turned into tears from built up stress and fatigue, but I was embarrassed nonetheless. He didn't say anything, he knew what was happening and just scooted closer to me, putting an arm around my shoulders. "Shhhh," he smoothed my hair down. "It's okay. It's alright."

I groaned, ashamed of myself. "You always seem to catch me at my best moments, Harry," I muttered sarcastically, I laughed slightly at how ridiculous I was being and sniffed. I lifted my head from his shoulder, and looked at his face. He was looking down at me with a sad smile on his lips.

Our faces were the closest they've been in two years. "You still remember what I said to you at the bakery?" he murmured, and I had to force my eyes away from his lips. I nodded, and he smiled. "Good, I didn't want you to forget."

I swallowed, unable to believe this beautiful boy was in my presence. "Can I tell you a secret?" I said softly. He made a low sound in his throat, and my heart fluttered.

"Yeah, I guess," he joked. I looked at his face, searching for something I couldn't place. I cleared my throat and looked away.

"Nobody but you has ever called me beautiful," it came out in a whisper. I laughed humourlessly. "And I guess I was really thankful that you came around when you did, because I really needed it."

I looked at his face, his eyes giving me that intense stare thing he always had. "So, thank you. God, I'm sorry, it's really late, and you probably want to sleep. You can leave if you want--"

"Topher." he was looking at me in a way that made my heart stop. His eyes looked even more vibrantly green than they had been previously. He put both hands on either side of my face, his thumbs brushing under my eyes to rid my face of any stray tears. His lips parted slightly as he searched my face, making sure it was okay.

My eyelids became heavy as he rested his forehead on mine. I bit my lip nervously, leaning slightly away. He chuckled a little, the corners of his mouth turning up. That was what did it. I pushed my lips to his, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck. He broke the kiss for a moment. "You're more than beautiful. You're perfect, Topher McCoy," he breathed.

He tangled his fingers in my hair, and crashed his lips to mine again. He slowly trailed his hands to my waist, and I felt his fingers on the bare skin where my t-shirt stopped. He deepened the kiss, sending my heart into a frenzy. I pulled his body closer to me, and he pushed us backwards on the couch so we were laying down.

It felt as if we'd never stop, and I didn't want to. He broke away from my lips to kiss down my chin and jaw. I gasped when I felt his teeth on my earlobe, tugging slightly. "Wanna know my secret?" his voice was husky and low. He leaned up so we were eye to eye. "I loved you, Topher. I still do, love you, I mean. Seeing you again just made me realize I couldn't ever forget you."

I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't. This gorgeous, successful man was telling me he loved me. I had no words. I finally swallowed, knowing what I had to admit. "I loved you too. And I still do, obviously. I'm here aren't I?" he blushed, unable to speak.

So we didn't. I pulled his face back to mine, our lips fitting together in a way that nobody else's ever would. He deepened the kiss again, this time his hands fitting in the curve of my waist, pulling me even closer. My hands trailed down his shoulders, and over his chest and stomach. I felt the muscles there tense, and he let out a low noise from his throat.

He trailed his lips from mine to my jaw, to my neck. I couldn't process thought. I couldn't process anything, really. He found the spot just below my left ear and I shivered under his touch.

"Oh god, we need to stop," I groaned, not able to take this any farther without embarrassing myself.

He connected his lips to mine again. "I don't want to," he whispered against my jaw. I shivered again, the insatiable desire for him was almost too much. He kissed my bottom lip, and then while nibbling with his teeth, sucked on it slightly.

"Wanna know another secret?" I breathed. He responded by kissing just below my earlobe. "I love when you do that."

"Do what?" he teased, still kissing my neck.

I forced his face up to mine, crashing my lips to his again. Only this time, I took his bottom lip between my teeth and tugged. "That," I whispered. And without saying any more, I slipped out from under him, walking out of the room and to my bunk.

He groaned from behind me. "That's not fair," he called in a whisper, since the boys were still sleeping. How they were still asleep after what had just happened was beyond me.

I heard Harry get up and crawl back into his bed. "Hey Harry," I said softly.

"Hey Topher," he answered.

"Stay with me." He crawled up into my bunk, wrapping his arms around my waist.

He kissed my forehead softly before I closed my eyes and rested my head on his chest. It wasn't long before the two of us fell fast asleep.